Ingrate Seduction
by Drair
Summary: Everyone knows Orihime luuuurvvveeees Ichigo! Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to notice her at all! However, Orihime's going to change all of that by scheming with her dear friend Tatsuki! AU fic. R&R Please!
1. Chapter 1: The First Tactic

**Chapter 1: The First Tactic**

Orihime sighed dreamily. There was that boy again, sitting in front of her. How she longed to reach forward and embrace him against her gargantuan breasts, and force him to fall irrevocably in love with her, and then lean her orange head against his strong, sturdy back. Every gesture he made intrigued her; every feature endeared her more strongly. She yearned to run her fingers over the pointed angle of his chin, the ever-frowning brows, the fluffy carrot head, the curved line of his neck as he bent over the math worksheet. His body was always taut, like a wound coil, and his muscles tensed as he punched numbers into his graphing calculator. As he tilted his head, Orihime admired his lean collarbone. She itched to clench the fabric of his shirt and pull him closer to breathe in his woody scent, and to feel the warmth of his chest… he was turning his head… a pointed nose came into view…

Suddenly, he was facing her.

Siiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhhh… his face was soooooooo dreamy…

His thin, manly lips seemed to open in slow motion as he spoke in a voice as smooth and warm as chocolate, "Inoue, can I borrow your—hey you're drooling!" Orihime snapped herself to her senses. He was talking to her! Omg! He was talking to her! Omg! She hurriedly brushed off the saliva dripping down from the corner of her mouth, and focused her attention upon the godly creature before her.

"Oh! Kurosaki-san! Ha…ha… what did you say you wanted?"

"Er…" wavered Ichigo Kurosaki dubiously as he eyed the spit covering her pencil case, "I was going to ask if I could use your eraser, but seeing as you've drooled on it…"

"No! No! Kurosaki-san! That's totally fine! Here! Look!" Orihime quickly wiped off the slimy liquid covering the white rubber chunk with her shirt and offered it eagerly to the man of her dreams. Not wanting to hurt the fervent Orihime's feelings, Ichigo gingerly grasped the eraser with the tips of his thumb and forefinger.

"Uh, thanks Inoue," said Ichigo, completely clueless of the ecstasy he had awakened within the redhead before him. Orihime, on the other hand, was mentally soaring above the clouds. His voice repeating her name echoed like thunder in the distance… there was lightning… there was an airplane… the lightning struck the airplane… the airplane was crashing! She had to do something! Transform! Super Orihime to the rescue! Her muscles bulged as she supported the plane from below. Oh no! The ground was getting dangerously close! Must… become… stronger! No! Too close! Too close! Maayydaaayyy!!!

Orihime sunk into another reverie.

Next period was English. Orihime had English with Ichigo as well. She had history and chemistry with him too. The only classes she did not have with him were crafts and French. He took kendo and Spanish. However, this did not deter Orihime from seeing him every period anyway.

In English, Orihime sat to Ichigo's left. A pretty girl named Rukia Kuchiki sat to Ichigo's right. Ichigo spoke to Rukia quite often, and the two seemed rather close, seeing as they took kendo together. Orihime envied their intimacy, and sighed desolately. Kuchiki-san was so strong, so beautiful, and so lively! She had also captured the hearts of all the boys, and Ichigo appeared to be no exception.

At the moment, Ichigo was engaged in a friendly squabble with Rukia over paper. Ichigo was begging Rukia for a sheet, but Rukia admonished Ichigo for being unprepared for class.

"I just ran out last period working on those math problems!" grumbled Ichigo, "I'll buy some more today!"

"Well," replied Rukia with a smirk, "I suppose I could spare a piece, but that'll cost you five bucks!" She laughed evilly as she extended a slender arm toward Ichigo to receive the money.

"Oi! That's a bit too extreme!" retorted Ichigo. "I refuse!"

"Then no paper for your twenty-point essay! I guess you'll have to write it on your skin and turn that in!" giggled Rukia maniacally.

"You little—" muttered Ichigo as he reached into his wallet. Orihime spotted her chance.

"That's okay Kurosaki-san!" intervened Orihime, "Here is some paper."

"Oh, thanks Inoue," acknowledged Ichigo as he accepted the paper. "Luckily, there are some nice people who can spare some paper!" He glared pointedly at Rukia, who only laughed. Inoue sighed inwardly. She had hoped he would say more to her, like offer to display his gratitude by walking her home. Unfortunately, Rukia occupied all of his precious attention, so Orihime had to satisfy herself with gazing wistfully at his lanky figure. She observed his hunched figure with a quickening of her pulse, and her palpitating heart accelerated as she watched him curl his large bony fingers around a slim black pen. She wished she could take a picture of him bent over his assignment with his eyes wrinkled-up in concentration, and his mouth a narrow, grim slit as he wrote vigorously.

Abruptly, a notebook slammed into her head, and Orihime looked up with confusion. Her English teacher, Yoruichi-sensai, gazed sternly down at her.

"Why haven't you started your essay?" she demanded.

"Ah… um… sorry," said Orihime timidly as she turned her attention to the blank piece of paper before her. She realized that she had no idea what she was supposed to write about, and picked up the prompt, but could not concentrate. Her heart ached too badly for Ichigo.

xx

Orihime sighed plaintively as she walked home with her best friend Tatsuki. Every day that she saw Ichigo interacting with Rukia made her heart hurt a little more.

"What's wrong?" inquired Tatsuki gently. "Is it Ichigo?"

"Yes," mumbled Orihime.

"Well then, let's go for some ice cream and we can talk about your beloved Kurosaki-san," smiled Tatsuki.

"Okay!" agreed Orihime brightly. She perked up immediately at the prospect of ice cream and the chance to be able to ramble on and on about the love of her life. She raced Tatsuki to the nearest Baskin Robins and ordered a double scoop of rainbow sherbet and rocky road ice cream. She mixed the two flavors together in the cup, forming a light brown semi-melted concoction, whereas Tatsuki opted for a single scoop of vanilla in a waffle cone. They ate blithely for a few minutes.

"So anyway," began Tatsuki, licking contentedly away at her frozen treat, "What's bothering you?" Orihime swept a bit of ice cream from her pink spoon with her tongue and sighed.

"Kurosaki-san doesn't seem to notice me! He only talks to Kuchiki-san who's smart and beautiful and nice," said Orihime sadly.

"Oh, well Ichigo doesn't really notice anyone unless they punch him in the face," comforted Tatsuki, "And he probably only thinks of Rukia as another guy since she takes kendo with him."

"I don't know. I have a feeling that he might be in love with Kuchiki-san on some level of which he isn't aware of," uttered Orihime dubiously.

"Don't be silly!" cried Tatsuki quickly, though she privately agreed with Orihime, "How can that be possible? Don't forget you have enormous boobies! Rukia is completely flat like a man! How can he think of her like a girl?"

"Anyway," continued Tatsuki, speaking rapidly, "You're such a feminine and cute girl, how can he not notice you? Not to mention that you're just as smart as Rukia, especially since you are one of the top three scorers in all of your classes! And you're so good at cooking! Even if your recipes are a bit odd, they always turn out all right! Plus, a lot of boys like you too since you're so cute! Even girls like you, especially that weird lesbian girl. I'm just saying you shouldn't compare yourself with Rukia. Both of you are great girls, but you're so much cooler! If Ichigo got to know you, I'm sure he won't be able to keep himself from totally falling in love with you."

"Thanks Tatsuki," grinned Orihime sweetly. "I'll try harder to get to know Kurosaki-san!"

"That's the spirit!" cheered Tatsuki, standing up and banging her fist on the table. She ignored the huge dent, and continued, "I can help you with snatching him, if you want. I've known that boy since we were kids!"

"Really?" Orihime smiled radiantly, and clapped her hands together.

"Yes really! Now let's go over to your house and plan out our first move!"

"Okie dokes!"

The two best friends hurried to Orihime's house to plot and scheme like old women.

xx

"Well," mused Tatsuki, "Let's start out with a more subtle, conventional approach to capture that certain someone." The two were sitting on the floor in front of a low brown coffee table. A blank sheet of paper lay before Tatsuki, and she tapped her lips with the red eraser of a yellow pencil. Orihime nodded, indicating Tatsuki to go on.

"How about we…" Tatsuki paused as she tried to think quickly. "How about we leave one of your belongings somewhere for him to find, and then he'll pick it up and return it to you personally, and then you can engage him in some charming conversation and he'll fall in love with you?"

"Sounds good," said Orihime wide-eyed, "But what should we leave?"

"It should be something that speaks tons about what an exciting and attractive personality you have… maybe your bra to display your humongous cup-size?"

"Eeeehhh?" gasped Orihime scandalized. Tatsuki chuckled.

"Don't worry. I was just playing with you. How about a notebook recording all your exciting escapades and your vibrant personality, like a diary?"

"Oh! I have a diary!" squealed Orihime, delighted. "It's right here!" She held up a flowery pink notebook.

"Hm, it does show your feminine side," nodded Tatsuki thoughtfully. "Where should we leave it?"

"I know! I know! How about in his room and on his bed?" yelled Orihime enthusiastically. Tatsuki shook her head at her friend's naiveté.

"That's too obvious. We should plant it somewhere in front of his locker. Write your address on it so he knows where to bring it."

"Okie dokes!"

"Good. Now that that's settled, make sure you have a topic ready to talk to him about when he returns your diary so he'll think you're interesting and easy to chat with."

"Like what?" asked Orihime.

"How about school? Maybe you can talk about your teachers, or even better, ask him to help with your math homework."

"Alright! I'm ready!" exclaimed Orihime. "I can't wait!" She bounced around with excitement.

"Good. That was the easy part. Let's hope it goes flawlessly. We'll do it after school tomorrow. Meet me in front of his locker before he comes!"

Orihime clapped her hands and smiled in response. She would talk to Kurosaki-san tomorrow!

xx

The next day, Orihime bounced joyfully to school. She was going to talk to Kurosaki-san today! She was going to talk to Kurosaki-san today! Tatsuki joined her at the front of the high school, and grinned knowingly at her friend's high spirits.

"Ready for today?" remarked Tatsuki rhetorically.

"Ready for anything!" responded Orihime. She pulled out her pink flowery diary to show Tatsuki her apartment address written boldly on the cover in a large, red font. It spread across the entire front.

Tatsuki shook her head, amused by her friend's overexcitement.

"Ok, well I hope you remember the plan. Remember, it's after school today, in front of his locker. Got it?"

"Got it!" nodded Orihime with a salute.

"Now, go to your math class so you won't be late to see Ichigo!"

"Ok!" With a twirl of her skirt, Orihime was off. She couldn't wait to see her darling Kurosaki-san! She was so lucky to be sitting right behind him! Behind her, Tatsuki exhaled slowly. Orihime was much too good for the likes of Ichigo, but she was happy, so it didn't matter. As long as Orihime was always smiling, Tatsuki was content. Nothing would ever change that fact.

"Good morning Kurosaki-san!" greeted Orihime cheerfully as she did every morning.

"Oh, hey Inoue," responded Ichigo as he did every morning. Before Orihime could say anything else, Ichigo's friend, Keigo Asano popped up as he did every morning. Orihime was quickly forgotten, and she retreated back to her seat.

"Yo! Ichigo!" hollered Keigo.

"Hey," grunted Ichigo.

"Oh my dear friend! I am so happy that you have acknowledged me on this lovely autumn morning!" He looked as though he was about to hug Ichigo, but Ichigo blocked his advances with his foot.

"How dare you! My very bestest friend!" Keigo looked down in mock horror at the footprint on his white polo. "To think that you have reciprocated my warm greeting with your cold and smelly foot! The brutality of it!"

"Go back to your seat," commanded Ichigo, rolling his eyes.

"Fine! You are no longer my bestest friend!" sniffed Keigo. Orihime watched this exchange with jealousy. She wished she could speak with Ichigo with such freedom. At least Rukia wasn't in this class (she was in a higher math level), otherwise she wouldn't even have a chance to talk to Ichigo.

The rest of the day flew by quickly. In English, Ichigo asked Orihime to share the book they were reading, (his father had torn it apart in a fit of excitement) since Rukia was charging an exorbitant fee. Orihime was ecstatic, given that they had to lean their heads very closely together. Orihime also managed to glean a passing glance of Ichigo between third and fourth period, when they were walking to their respective classes. In history, Ichigo had to do a presentation, which allowed Orihime to stare at his face for a full five minutes, and in chemistry, the teacher put Orihime in the same lab group as Ichigo. It was truly a wonderful, Ichigo-filled day.

Finally, school ended. Orihime rocketed out of the chemistry classroom, so as to reach Ichigo's locker before he did. She ran as fast as she could, despite being weighed down by her massive chest, and reached her beloved's locker in less than thirty seconds. Tatsuki was waiting for her there.

"You got the book?" demanded Tatsuki.

"Of course!" giggled Orihime. She pulled out her flowery pink notebook with her address printed clearly on top.

"Good. Now put it right in front of his locker." Orihime complied, and the two best friends concealed themselves behind the wall adjacent to the lockers, so as to keep an eye on the floral diary.

"Here he comes!" alerted Tatsuki. The duo watched as Ichigo strode into view with his black Jansport backpack slung casually on one shoulder. He stopped at his locker, when he noticed a pink object lying on the floor beside his foot. It turned out to be a notebook.

"Hm…" muttered Ichigo as he bent down to pick up the diary.

"Mission accomplished!" whispered Tatsuki from her spot behind the wall. "Let's go!" The two girls scurried away, leaving Ichigo behind with the diary.

"What is this?" wondered Ichigo to himself, as he turned the diary over in his hands. "I wonder who this belongs to." He flipped the diary to the first page, and read:

March 3rd

This morning I woke up and had ice cream with garlic for breakfast! It was really good! Then, I went to school and waited outside the door for K-san to appear. He was especially cute this morning! I saw his back, and it has become the back of a man! Then he went to class. He is only in my biology class, which makes me sad, but I sit right behind him. He changed shampoo brands because his hair smelled a little different today. I don't think he's washed his shirt for a while, because it smelled good just like him. For lunch, I had a honey, tuna, and asparagus sandwich with strawberry milk. Tatsuki said that it smelled a little funny, but it sort of reminded me of K-san. I also saw him five other times besides biology today. First, in the morning, then between first and second period because I waited next to his locker, then at break since I passed by the place where he usually sits, then between third and fourth when I followed him, and finally after school since I passed by his locker on my way home. He looked great every single time. Then I went home with Tatsuki and we played tennis using a basketball, which is really hard. After that, Tatsuki cooked me some curry for dinner, and we ate some cake for desert. I added barbecue sauce to mine.

Ichigo flipped a few more pages.

Sept. 1

School started, and I am so happy today! I am in four of K-san's classes! I can see him every day now, but he seems to have made a new friend over the summer. I think she likes him. I want to be friends with her so we can talk about K-san all the time!!! I'm going to talk to her tomorrow! I can't wait! It'll be so great because K-san is the coolest in the world! Also, the bottom button of K-san's blue shirt seemed a bit loose today. I'm going to offer to sew it up for him tomorrow, if Ishida-san doesn't get there first!

"O…K…" thought Ichigo to himself, after reading a few more entries. "Whoever this person is, she seems to have a scary obsession with some guy called K-san. I better return it." He closed the book, and finally noticed the address on front. "Inoue Orihime? She _is_ kind of weird… I guess I'll just drop by her house and give it to her then. How convenient. Her address is written right on front!"

xx

Back at Orihime's house, Orihime and Tatsuki were plotting what to do once Ichigo came by.

"In my opinion," began Tatsuki, "You should just shove your massive breasts into his face and he'll do the rest!"

"Really?" gasped Orihime, completely wide-eyed.

"No, not really," laughed Tatsuki. "Just go what we planned earlier. Ask him to help you with math!"

"Okie dokie artichoke!"

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"He's here!" giggled Orihime nervously.

"Go! Go!" whispered Tatsuki. She nudged Orihime to her feet. Orihime scurried to the door, and swung it wide open.

"H-hi Kurosaki-san," gasped Inoue.

"Hey Orihime," responded Ichigo smoothly, dropping the diary into Inoue's hands. "Here's your diary. Found it in front of my locker. Gotta go. Bye." He turned around, and made to leave. Orihime stared heartbrokenly at his retreating back. She couldn't let the day end like this! He might disappear into the sunset and she'll never see him again! Then, she would have to don a knight's armor and set out on a very long quest to search for him, only to find him blind and missing a leg after twenty long years! She couldn't let that happen! Absolutely not!

"Wait!" burst out Orihime desperately.

"What's wrong?" Ichigo half-turned, with a slightly alarmed expression on his face.

"Er… I sort of need some help with my math homework. I was wondering if you could help me," stammered Orihime.

"Sure. Right now?"

Orihime nodded, and let Ichigo into her apartment. He was in her home! He was in her home! He was in her home!

"Hey Tatsuki," greeted Ichigo, catching sight of Tatsuki.

"Yo Ichigo," replied Tatsuki. "Sorry, but I just remembered that I have karate practice today. Gotta go. Bye." Tatsuki winked at Orihime, mouthed the words "good luck" and sped out of the apartment, leaving the two alone behind her.

"So, ahm, Kurosaki-san," started Orihime, "Do you want anything to eat?"

"No thanks. I'm fine. What do you need help on?"

"Er…" stuttered Orihime, trying to think fast. "Everything. I need help on everything."

"Oh," uttered Ichigo, raising his right eyebrow disbelievingly. Everyone knew Orihime was one of the top students in school, but he kept his mouth shut. "Then let's start from the beginning."

Orihime sighed inwardly. She didn't want to talk to Ichigo about math! But he seemed to have his heart set on it, and she resigned herself to admiring his angular profile while he droned on and on about sines and cosines, which she already knew how to do. He was soooooo dreamy… like a prince… riding a white horse… she was sitting behind him, clinging to his waist… they were speeding into the sunset. However, an evil magician watched from the shadows. He was pulling out his wand and muttering a strange incantation! Luckily, Orihime had her bazooka with her! Boom! Boom! BOOOOMM!!!

xx

"So, what happened yesterday?" smirked Tatsuki as she walked to school with Orihime. Orihime shrugged.

"Nothing. We just talked about cosecants and stuff. But I did get to stare at him as much as I wanted! He smelled so good…" grinned Orihime dreamily.

"What?" cried Tatsuki, "I left you two alone! How could nothing happen? You should have shoved your chest in his face or something! Pulled some sexy maneuvers! Whatever it takes! I can't believe you just stared at him!"

"Well, he looked cool teaching me trig," remarked Orihime petulantly. She spaced out a bit, as she imagined him in a princely outfit, complete with tights and a crown, and singing trigonometry identities to her while strumming a banjo.

"Argh! He's more clueless than I thought! How could he not notice an attractive young woman with gorgeous breasts sitting next to him ALONE in a room?" ranted Tatsuki insanely. "That's it! Starting tomorrow, we're going to do some drastic moves to get him to notice you! What kind of teenage boy doesn't? That homo! He must be gay! Well we're going to change that! Understood Orihime?"

"Understood!" chorused Orihime cheerfully. Tatsuki seemed to be taking the failure to woo Ichigo personally.

"Well then!" yelled Tatsuki raising her fist into her air, "Time to plot and scheme like old woman!"

"Yay!" cheered Orihime.

Then, they raced to school.

To Be Continued…

* * *

R&R please! 


	2. Chapter 2: The Second Tactic

**Chapter 2: The Second Tactic**

After school, Tatsuki and Orihime quickly sped to Orihime's house to contrive their next move. Once again, the two girls were sitting in front of Orihime's low, brown coffee table, and Tatsuki was metrically beating out a cadence on it with a blue ballpoint pen. The lined sheet of paper before her was still blank, even though two hours had already passed. Orihime was extremely bored. All that could be heard was Tatsuki's pen hitting the surface of the table.

"Want some nachos with maple syrup?" queried Orihime to fill the silence.

"I'm fine," responded Tatsuki. She continued to tap out a rhythm.

"How about some dumplings in chocolate sauce?"

"No thanks."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Well, I want some myself." Orihime stood up, stretched, and went to the kitchen to prepare her meal. Tatsuki continued to sit and work her brain. Her imagination was lacking today, and she needed some inspiration. However, she was usually very sharp and resourceful, as she was nimble in mind and observant, quite unlike the air-headed Orihime, who got into a countless number of scrapes. Luckily, Tatsuki was always there to watch out for Orihime, and would always be. They made a good pair. Without each other, they probably would be unable to survive. Unfortunately, this would change if Orihime succeeded in hooking Ichigo, but Tatsuki had always been one to put her friend's happiness before her own.

A few minutes later, Orihime returned bearing a steaming dish of fried dumplings immersed in hot, melted cocoa. It looked quite scrumptious; the fudge was smooth, brown, and velvety, and the dumplings that it blanketed were plump and slightly brown. Unfortunately, Orihime tripped over Tatsuki's outstretched leg as she was carrying the loaded plate, and fell to the ground. The platter of her unorthodox meal went flying, and landed squarely on Tatsuki's head.

"Hot! Hot!" cried Tatsuki in distress.

"I'm so sorry!" apologized Orihime with mortification. She began to mop desperately at Tatsuki's head with the hem of her pale lavender skirt, but only succeeded in acquiring a large brown stain and spreading the chocolate farther down Tatsuki's neck.

"No, no, I'm fine," reassured Tatsuki quickly, as to avoid Orihime from creating a larger mess. However, Orihime insisted on dragging Tatsuki to the bathroom to clean her off, and pulled Tatsuki to her feet. As Tatsuki was led unwillingly to the restroom, a change came over her face as a wonderful plan dawned on her.

"I've got it!" shouted Tatsuki feverishly, forgetting about the little chunks of food ornamenting her spiky hair and sliding slimily down her clothing.

"What? What?" yelped Orihime, anxiously. She let go of Tatsuki.

"A plan! A plan!" Tatsuki ran back to the low brown coffee table and sat down, leaving behind an aromatic trail of warm fudge. Orihime followed her back.

"What is it?" questioned Orihime.

"The most perfect plan ever to get Ichigo alone and all to yourself!" responded Tatsuki. Orihime plopped down beside her on a bed of crushed dumplings.

"What do I do?"

Tatsuki smiled.

"Tomorrow, at lunch," started Tatsuki, "You will walk by Ichigo's table, carrying your food."

"Ok." Orihime nodded to show that she was listening attentively.

"Then, you will trip and drop the food into Ichigo's lap, getting his clothes all dirty!"

"That's horrible!" gasped Orihime. Dirtying Kurosaki-san was sacrilegious!

"No it isn't," reassured Tatsuki. "You will take him to the bathroom, and clean him up, and then you two will be all alone! Imagine that!"

"All alone…" mumbled Orihime dreamily… Ichigo was standing in front of her… they were alone in the bathroom… having a picnic… on the back of a tyrannosaurus rex… suddenly, a pterodactyl swooped down and grabbed Ichigo! It was flying away! Orihime couldn't let that happen! She urged the T-Rex on after the pterodactyl, which was disappearing into the distance… It was escaping! It was flying higher! It was flying farther! It was a black dot in the distance! No! KUUUROOOS—

"Whatever you're thinking of, Orihime," interrupted Tatsuki, "That isn't what I meant."

"Oh." Orihime snapped out of her reverie.

"I mean, you can do anything you want with him. Use this opportunity to pull some sexy maneuvers!"

"Sexy manuevers?" squealed Orihime wide-eyed. "Like what?"

"Like… wearing something provocative that day! Something that shows off your cleavage, specifically." Tatsuki grinned naughtily, and leered at Orihime. Orihime scooted backward nervously, but Tatsuki scooted nearer.

"Then, when you two are alone, close in on him until he can't escape." Tatsuki inched closer to Orihime.

"Slowly, unbutton your shirt starting from the top…" Orihime was backed against the wall now, and Tatsuki leaned in until her face was a centimeter away from Orihime's.

"…and then…" Tatsuki breathed warm air on Orihime's disquieted face. Orihime was beginning to doubt Tatsuki's sanity.

"And then?"

Tatsuki paused for suspense.

"Then you shove your giant boobies in his face!" howled Tatsuki, squeezing her own miserably deficient chest for emphasis. She began to laugh maniacally.

"Really?" cried Orihime innocently.

"Yes really! I'm not joking this time. If this doesn't get Ichigo's attention, then he's a big homosexual idiot!"

Orihime giggled in response.

"Now that that's done, let's go out for some barbecue," said Tatsuki. Orihime agreed emphatically.

xx

The next morning, Orihime got up early to prepare for the day. She looked in her closet for any scanty outfits, but could only come up with her one-piece bathing suit, which she obviously could not wear to school. Finally, she decided on a pink button-up blouse (which she could unbutton later…rawr) and a purple skirt. Surveying herself in the mirror, she found that she did not resemble a slut as much as she hoped. However, that could not be helped. Regarding shoes, she wore violet flats with bows, since she did not own any skimpy stilettos, and as a result, she looked exactly like she normally did.

For lunch, she prepared a ham and peanut butter sandwich, immersed liberally in cranberry sauce, for the purpose of better soiling Ichigo's clothing. She regretted that such good food would go to waste, but it was all for her darling Kurosaki-kun, and therefore of little consequence. At last, she deemed herself ready, and grabbing her large brown book bag, she left for school.

Tatsuki joined her along the way, as she did every morning.

"Remember the plan?" demanded Tatsuki.

"Yep!" chirped Orihime jauntily.

"Did you practice your sexy maneuvers?" asked Tatsuki in jest. She nudged Orihime with her elbow and giggled, expecting Orihime to do the same. To her surprise, Orihime answered:

"Yes! For two hours in front of the mirror last night!"

"Er… ok…"

Orihime smiled brightly. She couldn't wait until lunch! She'd get to see Kurosaki-kun! Her darling Kurosaki-kun with his orange hair… his strong, chiseled chin… his thin lips… his firm and supple body… his large and bony hands… like a pineapple… an orange, spiky, sweet and sour pineapple! Kurosaki-kun was exactly like a pineapple!

The two friends finally reached Karakura High School, and went to their respective classes.

"Good morning Kurosaki-san!" greeted Orihime while taking her seat behind Ichigo, as she did every morning.

"Oh, hey Inoue," responded Ichigo with a careless wave of his hand.

"IIICCHIIIGOOOOOOOOOO!" hailed Keigo ecstatically, as he did every morning, "My friend! Did you watch _Ghost Bust_ last night? Did you see how Don Kanonji exorcised those evil spirits?" Ichigo shook his head no, but Keigo wiggled with excitement and began to reenact that particular episode anyway.

"He was like POW! And then the evil spirit was like PABOOSH! And then Don was like BAM POW BAAABOOOM! And then the evil spirit was like EEEEEKKKK! And then Don was all HHHHEEEEYAAAAA! And then the evil spirit was li—"

Keigo was abruptly silenced by Ichigo's foot in his stomach.

"Ow!" howled Keigo. "That was uncalled for!"

"You were being noisy," explained Ichigo coolly.

"You're mean Ichigo!" wailed Keigo, pretending to sob with heartbreak. "I shall return to my seat, and you shall have forever lost a wonderful friend."

"I doubt it."

With an indignant sniff, Keigo returned to his seat, and began to chat animatedly (and a bit uneasily) with a very unresponsive Uryu Ishida, the master homemaker of the class, despite being a guy.

Orihime sighed. Ichigo seemed to have forgotten about her already, but that would all change today at lunch. She smiled to herself at this thought, and resigned herself to staring at Ichigo's strong, sturdy, and angular back for the rest of the period.

In English, the teacher, Yoruichi-sensai assigned the class a worksheet, and allowed them to work in pairs. Orihime paired up with one of her abundant female friends, whereas Ichigo immediately paired up with Rukia. Orihime had to endure the rest of the period watching Ichigo quarrel with Rukia over the answers to the questions. In her eyes, they appeared to be having a lover's spat, and she felt that Ichigo was livelier than usual whenever he squabbled with that new (and slightly odd) female student.

Break, third, and fourth period passed without further incident, except that Orihime spotted Ichigo near his locker during break (she was waiting there), she brushed shoulders with Ichigo while going to third (she made sure their paths crossed), and she made eye contact with him before fourth (purely accidental).

Finally, lunchtime came, and Orihime and Tatsuki were lying in wait at the door of the cafeteria.

"There's Ichigo," whispered Tatsuki, pointing at their prey. Ichigo was sitting at the end of a long table on the other side of the cafeteria with his friends. Keigo sat next to him, guzzling as many juice boxes as he could. Apparently, he was involved in a bet to see how many he could drink. Orihime nodded nervously, catching sight of Ichigo's orange head as well.

"Do you have your lunch ready?" questioned Tatsuki. In response, Orihime held up a square container. She removed the lid, and held it in a ready position in her hands.

"Good, good," said Tatsuki absentmindedly, without glancing at Orihime's lunch. "Ok. Now." Tatsuki pulled at Orihime's arm, and the two girls began to walk casually toward Ichigo's lunch table, pretending to be heading toward the table beside it.

"Don't be so nervous," advised Tatsuki quietly in Orihime's ear. Orihime tried to loosen up her stride a bit.

"Ok… ok… we're getting closer… get ready… "

Orihime held up her container.

"Ok… ok… NOW!"

Orihime took a few steps forward, and abruptly emptied the contents of the container onto Ichigo's head. A waterfall of mud sloshed down, turning Ichigo's yellow hair into a murky brown, and dribbled down the crevices of his face. Some of the mud flowed in and out of his eyes, and into his mouth, some of it went down his neck, under his shirt and onto his bare skin. The rest of it oozed and streamed over his shoulders and clothing, finally gathering in a pool on his lap. Ichigo leapt up from his seat.

"What the heck?" he shouted in surprise. He was furious, and turned toward the two girls in anger. "Is this some kind of prank Tatsuki?" Orihime was too frightened to speak, so Tatsuki spoke for her.

"Calm down Ichigo!" commanded Tatsuki, "It was an accident! Orihime just tripped and dropped her lunch on you!"

"Her lunch?" cried Ichigo, "She eats _mud_ for lunch?" Ichigo pointed at the brown substance staining his clothing. Tatsuki was momentarily disturbed, but quickly pulled Orihime aside to hold a private conference.

"Why do you have _mud_ as lunch?" whispered Tatsuki urgently.

"I thought it'd be a waste of food," responded Orihime, trembling, "So I decided to replace it with mud." Tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

"That's ok," comforted Tatsuki quickly, not wanting to see Orihime cry, "But it was supposed to look like an accident! It makes it too obvious if you use mud!"

"I'm sorry," said Orihime, her lip trembling. Tatsuki sighed. Sometimes her friend's naiveté amazed her. She turned toward Ichigo.

"Er… sorry about that Ichigo," began Tatsuki, thinking quickly, "But Orihime here felt like building some sculptures out of mud for her arts and crafts class, so she was just carrying it and accidentally slipped. She didn't do it on purpose."

"Oh, well that's fine then," said Ichigo, calming down. Besides, Orihime seemed to be truly sorry, as she had tears glistening in her eyes.

"I'm really sorry, Kurosaki-kun," apologized Orihime with great emotion. "It was an accident and I slipped. I really didn't mean to pour it on you."

"That's ok," assured Ichigo. "I'll just go to the bathroom and clean it off."

"Let me take you!" volunteered Orihime quickly, not because it was part of the plan, but because she was remorseful.

"No, no I'm fine!" protested Ichigo. However, Orihime dragged him to the bathroom anyway.

"Oi!" objected Ichigo as they neared the girls' bathroom, "I can't go in there! I'm a guy!"

"Oh," gasped Orihime, "I forgot!" She turned in the opposite direction, and dragged Ichigo to the boys' bathroom.

"Wait! But you can't go in there!"

"That's okay!" declared Orihime. She boldly pushed the door of the boys' bathroom open, and went in.

There was a moment of peace, as the boys who were busy at the urinals did not seem to notice her presence. Suddenly, someone screamed "A GIRL!" Immediately, there was chaos, as all the boys caught sight of Orihime and struggled to cover themselves behind each other, yelling and screaming. A fight broke out, as each boy tried to hide themselves behind the other, some forgetting to zip their pants back up. Orihime caught sight of a lot of lovely red plaid boxers and blue ones covered in brown dinosaurs. There were also the occasional briefs and bare bottom.

"Oi! Oi!" yelled Ichigo, "Don't look!" He tried to shield Orihime from the ghastly sight, but was too late. Orihime had seen all.

Just then, amid this pandemonium, a toilet flushed and Rukia walked out of a stall.

"What's going on?" remarked Rukia, clueless. She smiled blandly, completely oblivious to her incongruity. At her appearance, the ruckus in the bathroom increased by twofold, as the boys grew more panicked than ever.

"What the heck? Rukia? What are you doing in the boys' bathroom?" shouted Ichigo in astonishment.

"Huh? Ichigo?" exclaimed Rukia, catching sight of Ichigo and Orihime, "Why are you covered in mud?"

"An accident! Why are you here?"

"I needed to use the bathroom of course."

"You're supposed to use the girls' bathroom!"

"The line was too long."

Ichigo sputtered. "You're not supposed to use the boys' bathroom! Ever!"

"I really needed to go!"

"Hold it in next time!"

"Er… hi Kuchiki-san," said Orihime, making her presence known. Rukia was a bit stranger than she thought. Ichigo turned to Orihime in surprise. He had forgotten she was there. He noticed that she seemed a bit bewildered by Rukia's strange behavior.

"Rukia's from a remote place in the mountains, so she hasn't had a very normal life," explained Ichigo to Orihime.

"Hello Inoue-san," smiled Rukia sweetly, and made a little curtsy. She seemed to sparkle, and was quite unlike the foul-mouthed tomboy who had been arguing with Ichigo earlier that day. Ichigo rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, the door burst open and Keigo appeared.

"Outta the way everyone! I really need to go!" He headed to the nearest urinal, his hands on his crotch, about to unzip his baggy, faded blue jeans. However, Ichigo put out a foot and tripped him.

"Not in front of girls!" admonished Ichigo.

"What? Girls?" vociferated Keigo. He clambered to his feet, and saw Orihime and Rukia.

"Ah, well I'm proud of what I have! In fact, I'm going to show it off in front of these lovely ladies!" cried Keigo fanatically.

"Show what? Show what?" uttered Rukia, equally enthusiastically.

Luckily, before he could do anything, Ichigo shoved Keigo into the nearest stall and closed it. A few minutes later, a tinkling could be heard, and Keigo sighed in relief at this catharsis. He had been about to explode.

"I think it's best that you girls get out," advised Ichigo dryly. He eyed the rioting boys in the corner, who were now trying to untangle themselves from each other, without losing their pants.

"But you're not clean yet!" objected Orihime.

"It's alright. I can do it myself." He gently shoved the two girls out of the bathroom, and closed the door behind him. Orihime sighed inwardly. She had not even gotten the chance to try her sexy moves, which she had so painstakingly practiced the night before!

"Why can't I use the boys' bathroom?" demanded Rukia. Orihime started, and realized that Rukia was here with her. Orihime smiled brightly, and shrugged her shoulders.

"It's segregation! In my old home, we never assigned which hole, tree, or bush would belong to the boys' or girls'! We just used it!" declared Rukia righteously.

"Your old home, Kuchiki-san?" asked Orihime. "What was it like?"

"It was a small, peaceful village in the mountains, where I trained in martial arts with my brother," described Rukia.

"How nice." The two girls smiled at each other, both acknowledging each other as a new friend. They yakked happily away for the rest of lunch.

xx

"So," said Tatsuki slyly, as she walked home with Orihime after school, "What happened?"

"We just got interrupted a lot," recounted Orihime, "But I got to talk to Kuchiki-san and she's really nice! Did you know she's a martial artist from the mountains and was home-schooled up till now? She just moved here with her brother over the summer and she met Ichigo at a martial arts place!"

"Kuchiki-san? You mean Rukia? What? You talked to her? Don't you know she's supposed to be your love rival?" exclaimed Tatsuki.

"She didn't say whether she liked Ichigo or not, but it's even better if she does! That way we can talk about Ichigo everyday! You should start liking him too so we can form an Ichigo Big Love Love club!" grinned Orihime. Tatsuki looked at her face and realized that she was not kidding.

"That makes no sense," sighed Tatsuki, "If more people like him, then you'll have a less chance of getting him to yourself!"

"Oh. That's true," acknowledged Orihime.

"Therefore, we should start scheming to get him all to yourself!"

"Ok," agreed Orihime.

"And now, after this failure, we must plan our next move! Let this next plan be the most perfect ever!" declared Tatsuki. A fire kindled in her eyes like that of a general before a battle, and grabbing Orihime, they ran all the way to her house. They only stopped for some Popsicles along the way.

**To Be Continued...**

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Thanks for the reviews!


	3. Chapter 3: The Third Tactic

**Chapter 3: The Third Tactic**

"So anyway," started Tatsuki, back at Orihime's apartment. For a change of scenery, the two girls were in Orihime's room, with Tatsuki reclining on the bed and Orihime rolling around in her twirly chair.

"Uh huh?" Orihime tried to sound attentive as she pushed off from the other end of the room and glided until the bed stopped her.

"I've analyzed our two plans over and over again, and have discovered our reason for failure." Tatsuki propped herself up on one elbow, and glared at Orihime. Orihime immediately stopped spinning in her chair.

"And what is that?" queried Orihime, to demonstrate her concern.

"It is because we did not have enough research," replied Tatsuki. "Therefore, I have decided that we should go to the bookstore and search for books which educate women, men, or transvestites on the art of conquering that special male."

"Er… ok," said Orihime.

"Good! Now, get up! There's no time to lose! Tomorrow is Friday, and I want him hooked before the week is over!" cried Tatsuki, jumping to her feet. Orihime followed suit, and the two girls sped straight down to the nearest bookstore, not even stopping for some tapioca and milk tea.

"So," began Orihime, once they had entered the bookstore, "where do we begin?"

"Well…" pronounced Tatsuki slowly, "How about the romance section?"

"Oh! Right there then!" Orihime pointed to their left where there stood three full bookshelves, all labeled "Romance."

"Excellent!" uttered Tatsuki. She strode over and randomly picked up a pink paperback book. On the cover was a picture of a shirtless man with long, raven-black hair and gleaming abs crooking a finger to some unknown person in the distance. An ethereal cloud of light pink smoke and bubbles surrounded him, and one of his eyes was closed in a very naughty wink.

"_Come Hither, said the Enchanted Native American Man_," sounded Tatsuki as she read the title. She carelessly flipped the thick paperback to the middle, and read out loud: "Her body felt hot as he began to shower her with smoldering kisses, blistering her face, her shoulders, her breasts, her stomach… It was pure ecstasy. She tried to push him away, but found that she could not resist his advances; she was melting in his strong, muscled arms, and her loins were—" Tatsuki quickly closed the book. Orihime looked at her questioningly.

"Why'd you stop?"

"Er… well, that book wasn't very helpful," replied Tatsuki with a very red face. "Next book."

Orihime handed her a very pretty light blue book with a lovely blond on the front, standing on a shore. A somewhat ominous (and shirtless) man stood in the distance, his ankles immersed in an incoming tide. He appeared to be watching the oblivious woman in the foreground, and his face was immersed in shadow. It was titled, _Secret of the Nude Hunter._ Tatsuki flipped the book open, and recited: "Kristi felt that someone was watching her, and she covered her bare white body as a chill ran down her back. She was alone, vulnerable, and naked in the dark lake. Suddenly, something rustled behind her and she whirled around in fear. An unclad man emerged from the trees lining the shore. Despite her terror, Kristi could not help but notice that the man had a beautifully sculpted body and was rather well endowed. The moonlight glistened on his uncovered—" Tatsuki squinted, blushed, and snapped the book closed.

"Uncovered what?" asked Orihime, who had been listening avidly.

"Nothing," replied Tatsuki quickly. "Next." Orihime handed Tatsuki a book with scarlet drapes on the cover. A long, tanned, and toned leg stuck out from among the sheets, and the foot was in a skimpy black stiletto. A masculine stuck out from the red cloth and rested on the thigh. "_One Night in Pleasure-opolis_," read Tatsuki, and opened the book: "The stranger's steamy eyes wandered up and down her curvy body. She felt as though he was undressing her with his flaming gaze, and she suddenly felt the urge to tear off her clothing. His Speedo-clad body moved closer, and she could feel his hot breath on her long, ivory neck. 'Feeling a little warm?' chuckled the mysterious man as his hand began to run up her smooth, muscled thigh. She remembered, too late, that she wasn't wearing any panties."

"Eh?" gasped Orihime, scandalized, "She needs to wear panties or else that man will tou—"

"I think that was the point," interrupted Tatsuki, before Orihime could finish. She crammed the book onto the shelf, and her face was red from either embarrassment or frustration.

"Know what?" scowled Tatsuki, "Let's go look in another section."

"Ok. The 'Graphic Novels' section is next," informed Orihime.

"Oh! Perfect! There's probably some shoujo manga there. We can look for some ideas in those," acknowledged Tatsuki. She quickly rushed over to the next shelf. "You look on that side, and I'll look on this side." Orihime nodded in compliance, and pulled a random manga from the shelf.

"Hey," verbalized Orihime, pointing to a black-and-white page, "Why are these two sparkly boys surrounded by flowers and wrapped around each other?"

Tatsuki opened her mouth to explain, and then closed it. Orihime would never understand the intoxicating allure of yaoi manga.

"Pick another one," advised Tatsuki.

Orihime nodded, and selected a yellow one from the bottom shelf. She began to read with interest. The messy-haired boy in the manga removed his glasses, and instantly become a super hot bishounen. _I love you,_ cried the messy-haired boy. _I love you too,_ replied the girl. Bubbles and flowers began to float up around the couple. Suddenly, the girl farted. Orihime giggled immaturely, and chose another manga. It opened with a young girl innocently walking on the street. Suddenly, a boy leapt out of the bushes, kissed the girl, leapt back into the bushes, and disappeared. Then, the girl complained that that was her first kiss. First kiss… Orihime began to imagine her own first kiss scenario with Ichigo… They were holding hands…side-by-side… in a tree… _You're so beautiful Inoue_, whispered Ichigo in her ear. He had stars in his eyes and a silly grin on his face. _You're so beautiful too,_ replied Orihime. Ichigo blushed with pleasure. Flowers began to fall from the sky. The couple leaned in closer on top of the giant elephant that was galloping past the Eiffel Tower, and closed their eyes and puckered up. The minute their lips touched, Ichigo transformed into a huge, hairy black gorilla which was weeping profusely. _Thank you for breaking the spell, _sobbed the gorilla, clasping Orihime's hands with happiness. A divine light shone down upon the ape from a gap in the clouds, and the primate began to float with heavenly grace into the celestial kingdom above. _Good-bye gorilla-san, Good-bye_, cried Orihime waving a handkerchief. She brushed away a tear. It was all too beautiful…

Tatsuki, on the other hand, was reading a manga that was giving her the shivers. _When I watch him play soccer,_ recounted the main girl in the manga, _it feels like I'm watching a butterfly fluttering down the field. _Tatsuki restrained the urge to throw up at the cheesiness of the statement, and plucked another one from the shelf. It featured a very dramatic scene. _I hate you!_ screamed the female protagonist passionately to the boy, who looked on in shock and heartbreak. The girl turned around and began to run, but the wind lifted up her skirt to reveal the 'I love you' written on her butt. Tatsuki was somewhat disgusted, and grabbed a few more volumes of manga. None of them were any good, and a lot of them were smutty.

"Found anything yet?" demanded Tatsuki angrily, as she slammed yet another bizarre manga onto the shelf.

"Eh?" started Orihime, in the middle of dabbing an imaginary tissue at her teary eyes.

"I said, did you find anything yet?" repeated Tatsuki.

"Oh, er, yeah!" replied Orihime. She grabbed a random manga off the shelf and handed it to Tatsuki. She hoped that it wasn't anything too bad. Luckily, it wasn't.

"Hey," said Tatsuki in surprise, after reading for a few minutes, "This manga isn't too bad."

"Really? What's it about?"

"Hm… well, the guy accidentally punches the girl in the face, and makes it up to her by taking her out on a date! And then they fall in love and yadda yadda yadda! We can totally use that!"

Orihime waited for Tatsuki to elaborate.

"That is, we can recreate what happens in the manga and make Ichigo go out on a date with you!"

"Oh! I get it!" gasped Orihime, "So I'll hit Ichigo and we'll go out on a date!"

"Exactly! No! Not really. We'll make Ichigo hit you!"

"Oh! Ok!"

"Now, the only problem is how…" Tatsuki thought for a bit. "Oh! I know! Just try to get in his way as much as possible tomorrow so he'll accidentally hit you or something! Like if he's punching something, stick your face where's he's punching so he'll punch you! Except that might hurt a bit, but you can stand that right?"

"Right!"

"I figured. You've build up a lot of endurance from that one time when we played dodgeball with a bowling ball. Remember? Every single hit seemed to bounce off your boobs!"

The two best friends smiled at each other and walked home together in the dusky light of the sunset, satisfied with what they had accomplished.

xx

The next morning, Orihime met up with Tatsuki outside of Karakura High.

"Remember what we planned," reminded Tatsuki.

"Of course!" replied Orihime. The bell rang, and she skipped to her first period math class with excitement. She was going to get punched by Ichigo! She was going to get punched by Ichigo! She was going to get punched by Ichigo! Omg! Yay!

Orihime joyfully reached her first period math class, and spotted Ichigo sitting in his usual seat.

"Good morning Kurosaki-kun!" saluted Orihime cheerily.

"Hey Inoue," replied Ichigo with a quick glance. He returned to studying his textbook without another word. Orihime pouted inwardly, but decided that an impersonal greeting from Ichigo was still far better than triple-pickle-brownies (her own invention), and smiling happily, she took her seat behind him. She commenced gazing at him, and sighed dreamily at his angular shoulder blades, which stuck out prominently whenever he leaned forward to write on his paper.

_Ichigo,_ thought Orihime passionately, _when will you allow me to measure the width of your shoulders? When can I finally chisel an accurate life-sized sculpture of you? I'm always off by a few inches… you grow too fast…_

Her train of thought was abruptly interrupted by Keigo's entrance.

"ICHIGO!" hollered Keigo, as he did every morning.

Ichigo grunted in annoyance. "Don't yell my name so loudly." He scowled.

"Ichigo," repeated Keigo again, but quieter, "I have some very, very urgent news!"

"What?"

"I'M IN LOVE!" Keigo threw his arms into the air, and repeated the world "love" a few more times, each in a different position.

"Oi! Stop that!" groaned Ichigo, "You're embarrassing yourself!" He lifted his foot and prepared to give Keigo a swift kick to the stomach.

Orihime saw her chance. She jumped to her feet, and quickly dove in front of Keigo to block it. She closed her eyes and braced herself for the oncoming collision, but nothing happened. She blinked. Keigo's right arm had darted forward from behind her, and was now holding Ichigo's foot.

"Ichigo," admonished Keigo, shaking his left finger a few times, "I never fall for the same trick tw—" Keigo was stopped mid-sentence as Ichigo's fist landed on his head, causing Keigo to topple backward and onto the desks behind him, and leaving Orihime and Ichigo observing each other.

"Sorry about that. Are you ok?" asked Ichigo, staring intently at Orihime. Orihime blushed, and backed away.

"Y-yes, I'm fine, Kurosaki-kun. I was just walking by."

"Be careful. I almost kicked you. Luckily Keigo blocked it."

"Yes. I will!" Orihime gave Ichigo her best smile, and he nodded, satisfied. Orihime returned to her seat, feeling very lighthearted. Ichigo had told her to be careful! Yay! He was soooooooo caring! However, he still hadn't injured her.

Next period was English.

Orihime was determined to get a good punch by Ichigo. She was not going to allow him to escape unless he gave her a good blow. Their whole future together depended on that one crucial action! With that thought in mind, Orihime gazed at Ichigo with cat-like alertness.

She peered closely as he reached deep into his backpack to retrieve a pencil and eraser, and admired the way his arm muscles flexed. She doted on the acute angle formed by his chin and neck as he stared at the blank piece of white paper before him, and salivated over the dry skin on his elbows, which perched precariously on the edge of his desk. She rhapsodized about his overall bone structure and his perfect profile. She gazed at his knuckles and sighed profusely. If only those knuckles would connect with her face in a powerful punch! Then, she would be the happiest girl in the world…

BAM!

Orihime's fantasy was unexpectedly terminated as a fist-sized object slammed into the back of her head. She was surprised, and as she began to fall out of her desk, she wept imaginary tears of joy, feeling that some great deity had answered her prayers. Ichigo had finally punched her! Ichigo had finally punched her!

But alas, it was not so. The revelation that it was not Ichigo who had punched her hit her about the same time that the ground did. The fist had been too small, too slender, and too supple, quite unlike Ichigo's large and bony hands. This postulate was quickly verified as she found herself staring at two long, tanned legs in a pair of skimpy stilettos before her. For one fanciful minute, Orihime found herself wondering flippantly if it was the no-panty lady from _One Night in Pleasure-opolis_ standing there. However, this speculation was quickly dismissed as Orihime looked up to see that the woman was wearing panties under her skirt, and that the woman was Yoruichi-sensai who was glaring down at her.

"Eh… sorry Yoruichi-sensai," apologized Orihime, getting to her feet.

"_Why_," demanded Yoruichi-sensai angrily, "were you staring at Ichigo Kurosaki for the past thirty minutes? You're supposed to be responding to the analysis questions!"

The class giggled. Nearly everyone knew about Orihime's seven-year long crush on Kurosaki, except for Kurosaki himself. He was quite the dunderhead when it came to such matters.

Orihime blushed when she glimpsed Ichigo staring questioningly at her out of the corner of her eye.

"I-I'm sorry Yoruichi-sensai," mumbled Orihime, "I lost track of time."

"She was probably spacing out," cut in Ichigo, who had noticed how embarrassed Orihime appeared.

"Yeah," chimed Rukia. She grinned encouragingly at Orihime.

"You don't space out in my class," reprimanded the teacher gently, realizing that she had overreacted. She tapped the assignment on Orihime's desk. "Now get back to work. I want these questions completed by the end of class."

Orihime breathed a sigh of relief. Only a few times in her life had a teacher chewed her out, as she was usually an excellent student. Each time had been a mortifying experience. She was grateful that Ichigo and Rukia had stood up for her, and felt a bit happier because of that. She decided to concentrate on the work before her, and tried to avoid gazing lovingly at Ichigo. After all, she still had a few hours more to get punched by him.

During break, Orihime met up with Tatsuki at their shared locker.

"Mission accomplished?" asked Tatsuki.

"No. I didn't get a chance," replied Orihime sadly.

"Well, you have fifth and sixth with him right? We'll get him then," reassured Tatsuki.

"Ok." Orihime nodded in agreement and sighed. The next two periods would be long, as she was not in Ichigo's class. Ichigo was _soooo_ nice and mature. He was reassuring and kind. While other boys ogled at her gigantic breasts, Ichigo always treated her with respect. He never made any lewd comments about her, and he was such a gentleman. Additionally, he had a strong sense of right and wrong, and stood up for people. Ichigo Kurosaki, concluded Orihime, was the most perfect man that ever existed!

However, Orihime actually managed to enjoy the next two periods, despite being Ichigo-deprived. In art, she sculpted a giant pineapple out of clay (it sort of reminded her of Ichigo), and Ishida-san had shown her a technique to make the pineapple appear more realistic. In French, she watched an exciting movie and played bingo. She won three times in a row. Lunch was also pleasant. Tatsuki had prepared a yummy sandwich for her, so that she would have some "normal food" once in a while. Finally, it was fifth period.

For fifth period, Orihime had history with Ichigo. The teacher was lecturing monotonously on some dull topic, and Orihime could not help but yawn a few times. She watched Ichigo anxiously from the corner of her eye. He sat two seats to the right of her, and Orihime wondered how she could get close enough to get punched. Finally, Orihime saw her chance. Ichigo had gotten up to staple a few sheets of paper together, and Orihime followed, under the pretense of doing the same. As he stood before the teacher's desk using the stapler, Orihime positioned herself very, very close behind him, so much so that she could feel the heat radiating from his back onto her face. She breathed a sigh of contentment. This was the closest she had ever been to him! Their bodies were only a centimeter apart. Just then, Ichigo finished using the stapler and turned around. While he was doing so, his elbow smacked Orihime squarely on the chest! It quickly bounced off.

"Inoue! Are you ok? I'm sorry. I didn't see you standing there," apologized Ichigo.

At that moment, Inoue was ecstatic. Ichigo had finally hit her! Ichigo had finally hit her! But… now what?

"That's totally fine!" replied Orihime quickly.

"Are you sure? I elbowed you pretty hard. Is there anything I can do?"

_You could ask me out on a date_, thought Orihime, but she could not bring herself to say so.

"No, that's ok."

"Ok. Good." Ichigo returned to his seat, leaving Orihime beside the stapler, looking downhearted. Curse her shyness! Orihime regretted that she hadn't asked Ichigo to take her out on a date, but that would be too bold. Class continued without further event, and Orihime sat in her seat feeling extremely depressed. However, she thought back to how close she had been standing to Ichigo, and blushed. He had smelled soooo good… like detergent… that white powdery substance that was like snow… on a mountain…with Ichigo, making snow angels. _Look at the snowman I made_, said Ichigo. _It's dedicated to you!_ Suddenly, the ground rumbled and a giant snow monster rose out of the ground, grabbing Ichigo around the waist! _Save me Inoue!_ cried Ichigo in desperation. Pulling a machine gun from her pocket, Orihime began to shoot the monster with an ice-cold, grim expression on her face. Her skirt fluttered in the wind, revealing two zeros and a seven tattooed on her thigh. _Save me Inoue! Saaaaaaavvve MEEEEE! _

Next period was chemistry. Orihime had that class with Ichigo and Tatsuki.

"Anything happen yet?" whispered Tatsuki from her seat beside Orihime. Orihime shook her head no.

"Not yet?" cried Tatsuki, "Well I'm going to fix that this period!"

Just then, the teacher, Urahara-sensai stood up.

"We're going to do a lab today. Split off into your lab groups and begin." Then, he sat down, pulled his green and striped hat down over his eyes, and promptly went to sleep. The class rolled their eyes. This was nothing unusual.

Orihime went to her lab station with Tatsuki and two other girls. They busied themselves with assembling the necessary equipment.

"Look," muttered Tatsuki in Orihime's ear, "Ichigo's bending down to tie his shoelace. Hurry and go stand next to him so when he stands up he'll hit his head on you." Orihime nodded obediently, and swiftly hurried to Ichigo's side. However, instead of standing up, Ichigo looked up. Orihime's shadow had alerted him of her presence.

"Hey Inoue. Is there something you want?" He carefully stood up to avoid headbutting Orihime.

"Just passing by," exhaled Orihime wearily. She had failed yet again! Argh! The frustration! She turned around and walked back to her lab group.

"Darn!" scowled Tatsuki, "That obnoxious little twerp! Why is it so hard to get him to punch you!"

Orihime shrugged.

"That's it!" yelled Tatsuki, "I'm not going to let our plan fail again! I'm going to make this work at all costs!" She spotted a tennis bag lying on the floor beside some random person's desk. She marched over to it, reached down and zipped open the bag. A racket and a can of tennis balls lay inside. She roughly pulled out the racket, and peeled off the plastic cover of the tennis ball cylinder. She viciously poured the contents of the cylinder onto the ground, scattering the bright yellow balls, and grabbed one. Then, picking up the racket, which she had left on the floor, she stalked over to where Ichigo was standing. Everyone was busy working on their labs and the teacher was sleeping, so no one noticed her bizarre proceedings except Orihime. Tatsuki rapidly shoved the tennis racket into Ichigo's hands, and threw the fuzzy yellow ball at Orihime. It hit her squarely on the forehead. Then, Tatsuki ran off to the other end of the classroom to avoid suspicion.

"Ow!" cried Orihime loudly as the ball bounced off her face. It left a bright red bruise on her forehead. Everyone turned to look at her.

"Omg!" shouted Tatsuki, feigning concern, "Someone threw a tennis ball and hit Orihime on the head? Who did it?"

Everyone looked around for the perpetrator. Tatsuki decided to point them in the right direction.

"Look!" She pointed an accusing finger at Ichigo, who was obliviously holding the racket. "Ichigo is holding a tennis racket! It's obviously him! He must have hit the ball with the racket! Omg! What a jerk!" Everyone turned to stare at Ichigo, who began to sputter.

"My best friend! How could you?" gasped Keigo, who was in Ichigo's lab group.

"What?" yelped Ichigo indignantly, "That makes no sense! Tatsuki ju—"

"Hey!" interrupted Keigo, "Isn't that my racket?"

"Ichigo!" barked Tatsuki loudly, "Look what you've done! You've just bruised Orihime's cute face! Now she's unfit for marriage! I want you to take responsibility!"

"Wh-what?" Ichigo was utterly bewildered.

"You heard what I said!" bellowed Tatsuki.

"It wasn't me!" protested Ichigo, still holding the tennis racket.

"It was you!" hollered Keigo. He pointed dramatically at Ichigo. "The evidence is all in your hands! Not only did you wantonly steal my racket, but also you used it to injure—hey! My balls!" Keigo caught sight of his yellow tennis balls scattered all over the floor.

"Like I said, you need to take responsibility!" continued Tatsuki, "So ask Orihime to marry you right now!"

"Are you crazy?" yelled Ichigo.

"Then at least apologize!"

"But I didn't do—"

"You've scattered my balls!"

"Apologize!"

"No! It wasn't me!"

"Now I have to pick up my balls again!"

"Repent you stupid jerk!"

"I'm telling you, IT WASN'T ME!"

Urahara-sensai awoke because of the commotion. He stood up, yawned, and stretched.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Ichigo hit Orihime in the face with a tennis ball!" replied Tatsuki quickly.

"He stole my racket and left my balls on the floor!" interjected Keigo.

"I'm telling you! It wasn't me! It was Tatsuki! And stop saying that, Keigo!" defended Ichigo.

"Look! He's holding a tennis racket! It was obviously him!" Tatsuki pointed at the racket still in Ichigo's hands.

"Why would I be swinging a tennis racket in class?" Ichigo quickly dropped the racket on the floor to avoid more incrimination. "I didn't do it!"

"Class," pronounced Urahara-sensai to resolve the matter, "Did anyone see Ichigo hit Orihime in the face?"

A boy spoke up. "Ichigo was holding the tennis racket when the ball hit Orihime."

"Yeah." The whole class nodded in agreement.

"Well then, I'm afraid I'll have to take away a few points from your citizenship, Kurosaki. You were supposed to be working on your lab instead of injuring people with your racket." The teacher returned to his seat and promptly went back to sleep, bringing an end to the matter. All Ichigo could do was to sputter indignantly.

"You still haven't apologized," reminded Tatsuki.

"Look," said Ichigo, trying to be calm, "I didn't do it so I have nothing to apologize for."

"Omg! What a jerk!" cried Tatsuki loudly so that the whole class could hear, "It's obvious you did it, and you still won't admit it! Look at poor Orihime over there! You've ruined her face! You could at least take her out to lunch or something to apologize!"

The class turned to Orihime, who was standing there wide-eyed with a red mark on her forehead. Mutters of "yeah" and "what a jerk" could be heard bubbling up from the students. Ichigo realized that he was fighting a losing battle.

"Fine, fine," he grumbled. "I apologize."

"That's not enough," sniffed Tatsuki, "since it took you so long to repent. You should take her to the movies or out to eat!"

"What?" objected Ichigo, "That's pushing it!"

"Omg! What a je—"

"Ok, ok." Ichigo caved in. "I'll take her out."

"Excellent!" Tatsuki smiled brightly, "How about tomorrow? She'll meet you in front of that weird twisty fountain at the mall at two."

Ichigo sighed and shrugged. "Whatever."

"You lucky poopoohead," howled Keigo, "You steal my racket, scatter my balls, and injure someone, but you get rewarded with a date with big-booby Orihime?"

"Die."

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the late update! Just had finals, so i've been pretty busy. If I don't update for a while, it's probably because i don't have the time, but i promise that i'll finish this! unless i get killed halfway through ;)

Thanks for reviewing :)


	4. Chapter 4: The Date

**Chapter 4: The Date**

"I must say," remarked Tatsuki, who was reclining on the couch in Orihime's apartment, "That went quite well yesterday."

"I feel sorry for Kurosaki-kun," sighed Orihime. "I hope he isn't angry!"

"Don't worry about that," consoled Tatsuki, "If he's angry, he'll be angry at me! Besides, this is war! You gotta do what it takes and make some sacrifices!"

"That's true." Orihime nodded thoughtfully in agreement.

"Anyway, aren't you glad that you're going out on a date with Ichigo today? This is the perfect opportunity to get him to fall in love with you!" Tatsuki smacked Orihime playfully on the shoulder.

"I'm happy," mumbled Orihime, "But I don't know how to make him fall in love with me! I'm not as clever or as bright or as lively as Kuchiki-san!"

Tatsuki smiled reassuringly.

"You don't need to worry about that! You and Rukia are different in a lot of ways, but you're way cooler. Ichigo just has to get to know you to realize that!"

Orihime smiled weakly, but still looked depressed. She really really wanted to get Ichigo to like her! She had so many flaws… what could he see in her besides big breasts?

"So anyway," continued Tatsuki, "What are you going to wear?"

"Oh!" gasped Orihime. She slapped her hands to her cheeks, horrified. She didn't know what she was going to wear! On the very first date of her life! With Ichigo! Ichigo! OMG! ICHIGO!

"Calm down now," soothed Tatsuki. "Lucky you have me here! Let's go take a look in your closet." She walked over to Orihime's closet and peered in. She shuffled the hangers around a bit, and then selected a casual, pale green dress with dark green trim and a white cardigan.

"This should do. You've always looked best in green, and a dress makes you look cute and feminine," said Tatsuki.

"Thank you!" sighed Orihime in relief. She collapsed on the bed, and then glanced at the time. She sat up again. It was already one forty-five! OMG! Her date with Ichigo was at two! Tatsuki seemed to have noticed this as well.

"Omg! It's one forty-five!" yelled Tatsuki, "What are you doing lying around? Hurry and change!" Orihime obeyed, and scurried into the bathroom. In a split second, she reemerged wearing her outfit.

"Looks good," said Tatsuki approvingly. "Now go! It'll take a while to get there if we're taking the bus!"

Orihime hurriedly slipped on a pair of sandals and ran out the door, with Tatsuki hot on her heels.

xx

They finally reached the mall, five minutes after two. Orihime could already see Ichigo's spiky orange head in front of the fountain. She slowed down to a walk, and then hesitated.

"What's wrong?" asked Tatsuki, who slowed down as well.

"I'm a bit nervous," replied Orihime. She paused, and fiddled with the material of her dress. Tatsuki sighed, and clapped a heavy hand on Orihime's shoulder.

"Just be yourself! I'll be cheering for you from behind this pillar over here!"

"You mean you're not coming with me?" Orihime glanced at Tatsuki with anxiety in her eyes.

"Hey, it's a date with you and Ichigo right? Just you two! Alone! Work your magic. Use your feminine charm or sexy maneuvers or whatever. You can totally do it!" Tatsuki nudged Orihime forward. "Come on! You can do this! You've been waiting for this forever! Seriously! Make all your hard work pay off, alright?"

Orihime nodded. Determination glinted in her eyes as she turned toward Ichigo.

"Wait. One more thing." Tatsuki grabbed Orihime's arm, and reached up and brushed Orihime's bangs to the side so that it no longer parted in the middle. "There. You look more mature like that." She smiled. "Now go!"

Orihime nodded, and set off in a run toward Ichigo. Her long, reddish orange hair fanned out behind her like a coral scarf, and her green skirt swirled with the momentum of her legs. For a moment, Tatsuki felt a pang of regret, but shrugged it off. It was Orihime's happy day. With a slight, bittersweet smile, Tatsuki turned to leave.

"Kurosaki-kun!" cried Orihime ecstatically. She waved crazily at Ichigo, who raised a hand in greeting.

"Yo."

"I'm sorry I'm late, Kurosaki-kun!"

"It's alright. I haven't been waiting long."

"That's good…"

There was an awkward pause.

"So, uh, Inoue," began Ichigo, "What do you want to do today?" He glanced down at Orihime's face, and was slightly perturbed by the starry-eyed expression on her face.

"Uh… Inoue?" Unbeknownst to Ichigo, Orihime was actually somewhere quite far away… sailing through the galaxy and passing clusters of glittering stars in a giant space ship… with Ichigo at the bow, his arms spread apart like wings, and the space winds billowing the giant puffed sleeves of his princely costume… Orihime held him tightly from behind … _I'm flying!_ cried Ichigo rapturously, _I'm flying! I'm FLY—_

"Inoue!" repeated the real Ichigo loudly. She immediately snapped to attention.

"Yes Kurosaki-kun!" she yelled, and saluted.

"Er…" Ichigo looked at her military pose with bemusement. She was gazing at him earnestly, as if he was a general and she was a loyal soldier awaiting his next order.

"Actually," decided Ichigo, "Let's go watch a movie and then have dinner afterward." Orihime relaxed her stance and smiled sweetly up at Ichigo.

"Yes, Kurosaki-kun! Sounds great!"

Together, they walked to the nearest movie theater. Orihime was euphoric. They looked just like a couple! Occasionally, Ichigo's elbow would bump slightly against her arm, sending her into spasms of joy… How she wanted to hold his large, angular hands, and touch his kendo calluses! She could smell the sent of his soap… his detergent… his shampoo… his toothpaste…his floss… his breakfast…his lunch… She could feel the heat of his body radiating from every pore. Her own body greedily absorbed his warmth and his intoxicating odor.

They reached the theater.

"So…" said Ichigo, interrupting the silence, "What do you wanna watch?"

"Um…" began Orihime, "Let me think for a minute…" She glanced over the list of movies that were playing. Ichigo crossed his fingers and hoped that she would not pick _Mushy Mushy Big Love _or _Romantic Kissy Man_. Luck was on his side.

"I want to watch _The Dismembered Hand Has Eyes_!" chirped Orihime happily.

"Interesting choice," responded Ichigo, who had half expected Orihime to choose a romantic comedy, rather than a gruesome horror film. But then again… she was really weird…

Ichigo stepped up to buy the ticket. However, he was turned away. The film was rated R, and Ichigo and Orihime, being sixteen and fifteen, could not purchase a ticket. They stood there and stared at each other for a minute.

_This is so embarrassing,_ thought Ichigo. _I've been watching rated R movies since I was seven! Why did this have to happen now? _He absent mindedly rubbed the back of his neck, while Orihime looked on and drooled over the way his lean, sinewy muscles in his arms tightened whenever he scratched his head…

…_Siiiigghhh… soooo hoooot… _

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Ichigo heard his name being called by a very, very obnoxious voice.

"Yo Ichigo! Orihime!" It was Keigo. He was waving enthusiastically, and running toward Ichigo at high speed. "Fancy meeting you two here! On a date!" Ichigo stopped him abruptly with a punch to his head.

"Fancy meeting you here my butt!" yelled Ichigo, "You just wanted to spy on us!"

"Spy on you?" gasped Keigo indignantly, "Me? No way! Never! Unless… you two are planning on doing something worth spying on…" Keigo doubled over in pain as Ichigo's knee slammed into his belly.

"Why are you really here then?" demanded Ichigo. At his words, Keigo puffed out his chest and smirked superciliously.

"Oh-ho-ho! Wouldn't you like to know!"

"You're right. I don't." Ichigo abruptly turned around and started to walk away with Orihime.

"Oi! Ichigo! Wait! Fine! I'll tell you!"

Ichigo turned around nonchalantly, and assumed an expression of unconcern.

"I have a date!" sang Keigo, throwing his arms apart widely. "A date! A date! Don't think you're the only one who has a date! I can _too_ get one!" He began to spin around and twirl euphorically.

"A date?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow, "With a girl? It _is_ a girl right?"

"Hmph!" sniffed Keigo, "Yes, it is a girl, and wait until you hear who she is!"

"Someone crazy, I bet." Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"Rukia! The beautiful Kuchiki-san! She agreed to go out on a date with me!" burst out Keigo.

"That explains it."

"There she is! Coming around the corner!" Keigo pointed. Rukia was walking with a tall girl who looked a lot like Keigo.

"Kuchiki-san! Hey!" cried Orihime, waving happily. Rukia waved back with a smile. The two girls reached the trio.

"Hello Ichigo, hello Orihime," greeted Rukia with a sparkly smile and a slight curtsy. Ichigo gave a snort of disgust.

"And you are?" Orihime looked at the tall girl.

"This is my older sister!" introduced Keigo.

"Why'd you bring your _sister_ on a date?" asked Ichigo. Keigo laughed condescendingly.

"Because, me and Rukia wanted to watch _The Dismembered Hand Has Eyes_, but it's rated R, so I brought my sister here to buy us tickets. Bet you didn't think of that huh? That's why you're standing here!" Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"I feel embarrassed for you."

"He asked our _mom_ to come with him," spoke up Keigo's sister, "But I just had to see what kind of girl would go out on a date with my dopey brother."

"Asano-san, could you buy tickets for us too?" asked Orihime politely.

"Sure!" Keigo's sister grinned, and walked up to the ticket booth to purchase four tickets. She handed them to Orihime.

"I'll be going now! Have fun!" She laughed, but it sounded more like a snicker.

The four teenagers walked into the theater.

"What are we doing?" asked Rukia obliviously. She smiled blandly.

"This is a movie theater," explained Ichigo, "People go here to watch films."

"You didn't have any movie theaters in your old home?" asked Orihime.

"No," replied Rukia. "We just lived in a small, simple village. None of the conveniences you have in the city."

They took their seats. Orihime sat on the very right, facing the screen, with Ichigo, Rukia, and Keigo to her left. The theater grew dark as the film started.

Immediately, spooky noises began to emanate, and an obviously computerized and bloody hand appeared on screen.

"I need to go to the bathroom!" announced Keigo, as the gory hand began to crawl and slither down the staircase of the haunted house.

"Whatever. You don't need to say it so loudly," whispered Ichigo.

"I changed my mind. I want to sit next to Orihime." Rukia stood up, and stepped on Ichigo's feet as she made her way toward Orihime.

"Argh! Just sit down and be quiet!" grumbled Ichigo under his breath.

"What's going on?" said Rukia loudly to Orihime.

"The hand just got mutated," replied Orihime.

"Shush!" the people in front turned around and glared at the three teenagers.

"Just sit still and watch!" commanded Ichigo.

"Yessir!" saluted Orihime.

"Don't tell me what to do!" scowled Rukia, momentarily forgetting her sweet, cute girl facade. They settled down and began to watch the film.

Keigo stood in the bathroom, trying to catch his breath. The movie was so scary! He didn't think he could return. He would die of fear first. But wait! What about Rukia? Was she not sitting in the movie theater, alone and afraid? What if she needed someone to grab on to and hug to soothe her terror? And what if that someone were not there? She could be traumatized forever and ever! It was Keigo's mission as a man to ensure that no damsel was in distress! He had to go rescue Rukia from being scarred for life! He had to be there for her to grab on to and clutch and hold! And perhaps be clutched and held in return! He had to! He had to!

With this thought in mind, Keigo sprinted back to the movie theater.

The movie theater was very dark when Keigo entered. He couldn't see a thing! Luckily, the row numbers glowed in the dark. Keigo walked to row number twenty-five, and scooted in until he felt the presence of a warm body to his right. He sat down. He could feel Rukia shifting nervously in her seat.

_Aww…_thought Keigo, _The poor girl must be terrified! _Slowly, he reached out his right arm and settled it on the top of the seat, behind Rukia's neck. Then, casually, he began to bring his arm down onto Rukia's extremely wide shoulders. She was trembling, poor girl. Keigo decided to pull her a little closer. She was so warm and comfy! Keigo moved his hand a little lower down her toned and sinewy arm, and let it settle on her supple, though somewhat thick, waist. He scooted a little closer to her for comfort, as she had stiffened from fear. If all went well, she would soon become soft and yielding under his touch. Keigo giggled perversely to himself. Picking a scary movie had been a stroke of genius!

Ichigo shifted impatiently as he watched the movie with annoyance. The special effects were _so_ lame! And the music was remarkably cheesy. The plot was predictable, the graphics were laughable, and the well-endowed, female protagonist's constant screams and squeals were _so_ annoying! However, Orihime and Rukia seemed to be having fun, as they were giggling and shrieking enthusiastically along with the actors. Ichigo wondered why Keigo was gone so long. Hopefully, he had fallen into the toilet and drowned. Ichigo chuckled to himself. Though he did not show it, he was actually very fond of Keigo. Keigo, despite being somewhat dense and silly, was a loyal friend, and very open and carefree. He never harbored any thoughts of malice, and tried to do good deeds in his own bumbling manner. He was so pure…

Suddenly, Ichigo felt a strange sensation on the back of his neck. With a thrill of horror, he realized that _somebody's _arm was resting on the back of his seat! The arm detached itself from the seat and rested itself upon Ichigo's broad shoulders. By the weight and size of it, it was a _man's_ arm! Ichigo froze with shock. Languidly and lustfully, the arm began to slide off Ichigo's shoulder and down his arm, lovingly caressing his toned, taut muscles and his angular elbow. The arm finally settled on Ichigo's waist, pulling him closer in a tight embrace until his head settled upon the stranger's shoulder. Ichigo's entire body went stiff, and his mind went into a stupor. A man was taking advantage of him! In a dark theater! He was being _molested_!

Keigo congratulated himself on his own cleverness as Rukia's hair tickled his chin. Rukia was probably in love with him now! He was her handsome knight in shining armor, and she was his lovely princess, whom he so gallantly rescued and comforted. He felt like bursting into a song of rapturous ecstasy at that moment. His beloved, Rukia, was returning his love! He wondered what they should name their children, preferably one boy and one girl. The girl would have Keigo's good looks and share her mother's loving nature… she would be Rukia Jr. The boy would have Rukia's raven black hair and Keigo's genius intellect. He would be named Keigo Jr. Keigo Sr. sighed with content. The future was _so_ bright and _so_ beautiful! He tightened his grip on Rukia's waist, and let his hand rest on her stomach. It was unexpectedly hard and taut for a girl's. _Whoa_, thought Keigo as a slight blush rose to his cheeks, _Rukia sure is cut! Her abs are harder than mine! _He pressed his hand down on her stomach, and felt her muscles. They were beautifully sculpted! Keigo fumble a little farther. Her entire belly was a concrete wall of toned manliness! He began to grope around more furiously. Perhaps higher up…

Keigo's hand began to move up… and up… and up…

Ichigo could not believe what was happening to him. Before, he had read news articles of people being sexually assaulted or molested, and could never understand why they never cried for help or told anyone. Now, he comprehended their feelings of helplessness. He had no idea what to do! It was _so_ humiliating! He could hear Orihime and Rukia screaming playfully beside him, and wondered how they could be enjoying the movie so naturally while he was being stripped of his youthful innocence. Didn't they notice that he was in a very undesirable position? How could they be so happy? The hand began to grope his stomach, feeling his abs. Ichigo was very disgusted. Why wouldn't the man just stop? The hand moved up, tickling Ichigo's belly as it went, and then scrabbled around his chest, as though searching for something. Ichigo's initial embarrassment turned into anger. Did the stranger think he was some wimp who would put up with this harassment? It was an affront to his masculinity! Ichigo decided that it was time to fight back.

_Rukia sure is flat for a girl_, thought Keigo as he felt her chest. He pawed her chest some more. She was really much too flat! Much, much too flat! Too flat for a girl…

Suddenly, it dawned on Keigo.

_This isn't a soft cute girl I'm hugging,_ realized Keigo as a thrill of horror ran down his spine. _Broad shoulders, huge arm muscles, thick waist, beautiful, beautiful abs, no breasts… this is a MAN I'm holding! _

Then, another thought occurred to Keigo, which augmented his terror and disgust.

_Kuchiki Rukia is… Kuchiki Rukia is… A MAN! _

_No wait… _Keigo calmed down a bit. His beloved couldn't be a man! She was much too beautiful and delicate. But just to make sure… He reached up to feel the hair of the person he was holding. To his relief, it was short and spiky. However, his relief was short lived when he realized that he had to deal with the stranger with whom he was locked in a passionate embrace, and had groped.

_Oh shoot,_ thought Keigo, panicked, _What do I do now? I've been hitting on this guy for the past hour! Should I apologize? _

Keigo thought some more.

_Naaaaah! Better to make a quick getaway! _Furtively, Keigo tried to remove his arm from around the man and sneak away. Unfortunately, the man suddenly grabbed his arm! Keigo could not suppress a shriek of terror. However, it only blended in with the shrieks of terror emitted by the rest of the people in the theater. He was doomed! He was going to be beaten to a pulp! In a dark theater! And there would be no one to help…

"Oh no you don't," muttered Ichigo as he felt the man trying to sneak away. This guy was a jerk! He probably snuck into dark movie theaters all the time to grope people, and then make a clean getaway every time the movie was about to end! Ichigo felt righteous fury flaring up within him. The nerve of this man! He grabbed the stranger's arm before he could leave, and then dragged him into a headlock.

"Ugh!" grunted Keigo. He couldn't breathe! The man was strangling him! And the movie was about to end! Soon the lights would come on, and reveal his identity to the world! "GAH!" The man was now twisting his arm behind his back. Why wasn't anyone helping him? Ichigo? Ichigo? "ICHIGO!!"

The lights came on. An obnoxious voice was calling Ichigo's name. It sounded like Keigo. Where was that guy anyway? Then Ichigo realized that it was coming from the pervert in his arms.

"Keigo?" uttered Ichigo, looking at the person doubled over in his iron grip.

"Ichigo?" gasped Keigo, twisting around to stare at his captor's face.

"It was YOU the entire time?" yelled Ichigo. "I never knew you swung that way!"

"How could my best friend assault me like this?" lamented Keigo, "And I trusted you too!"

"I should be the one saying that," glowered Ichigo. The feel of a man's hands on his body still made his skin crawl.

"Why are you hugging Keigo?" asked Orihime, who had finished cheering for the movie. Ichigo quickly released Keigo from his grasp.

"Let's go eat dinner," said Ichigo. "Keigo's treat." He glared pointedly at Keigo.

Keigo shuddered in fear, and nodded.

Orihime exhaled slowly. She had hoped to eat dinner alone with Ichigo. ALONE! It seemed her whole plot was going to be a failure again… How could she seduce him with so many people? They needed to be alone! Argh! Why was it so hard to be alone? Why were her plans always foiled? Why did they have to eat in a huge group anyway? And why was Keigo treating her, and not Ichigo?

With a very resigned sigh, she turned and followed her friends out of the movie theater, shoulders drooping sadly. She hadn't even gotten to know Ichigo better! But what was she expecting anyway? He barely took notice of her in school… they hadn't even exchanged more than a few words on their date. If only Rukia hadn't been there! But Orihime quickly shook these bitter thoughts from her head. Rukia was her friend! Friends had to support each other! Not think jealous mean thoughts! But was she willing to give up Ichigo to Rukia?

Orihime knew that her answer would be a no. She had to take initiative! Somehow! The sun was setting when they stepped out onto the street. Orihime cleared her throat nervously.

"Actually, Kurosaki-kun," began Orihime, "I'm not feeling too well. I think I'll go home now."

"You do look a little pale, Inoue," responded Ichigo, looking closely at her. Orihime could feel the blush rising to her cheeks. "I'll walk you home then." Orihime cheered silently to herself. Just as she had expected! She knew Ichigo would never let a girl walk home alone! He was just THAT nice and THAT hot and THAT great and THAT amazing and THAT etc.! Besides, they would be alone! She was going to grab him and then—

"That's totally fine!" nodded Keigo. "So I'll just go with Rukia here—"

"You're going straight home," growled Ichigo. "I'm not letting you off the hook so easily. You're going to have to pay sooner or later."

Orihime wondered if something had happened between them in the theater.

"Orihime, I'll walk home with you too!" volunteered Rukia. She looked at Orihime with concern.

_Sorry Kuchiki-san_, thought Orihime, _But I'm not letting you have Ichigo._

"No, I don't want to trouble you," responded Orihime politely. "I'll be fine with Kurosaki-san."

"Well if he does anything inappropriate to you, you can tell me," said Rukia, grinning evilly at Ichigo. "Young men can't control themselves properly these days."

"Just go home Kuchiki." Ichigo rolled his eyes. He led Orihime away by the arm as they began to walk home.

"Bye Kuchiki-san! Bye Asano-san!" waved Orihime cheerfully. When they were out of sight, she concentrated on Ichigo. They were finally alone! Alone! ALONE!

"So, Kurosaki-san," ventured Orihime timidly, "How did you like the movie?"

"Er," said Ichigo. He had been occupied with other things. "Okay, I guess. The hand was kinda fake."

"I thought it was scary," shivered Orihime. It was a good opportunity to lean in a little nearer to Ichigo.

"Really," said Ichigo. Orihime was sticking closely to him, but not uncomfortably so. He supposed that she was still frightened from the movie.

Their conversation was dying. Orihime thought fast.

"You do kendo, Kurosaki-san?"

"Yeah. Ever since I was seven."

"Is it fun?"

"I guess so."

"Are you good at it, Kurosaki-kun?"

"I'm not bad." Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck modestly, and looked down on Orihime. There was something different about her today. Was it her hair? Her bangs? Whatever it was, it wasn't bad.

"I wish I could do kendo," said Orihime happily. "Tatsuki taught me karate, but I think kendo looks really really cool!"

"If you want," replied Ichigo, "You can drop by the dojo sometime and learn or watch or whatever."

"I think I will!" Orihime beamed happily up at Ichigo.

For a fleeting moment, Ichigo thought he felt his heart skip a beat. But that was utter nonsense.

"Do you know where it is?"

"Yeah!" Of course she knew where it was. She stalked him all the time. But she wouldn't call it stalking. She just liked the cute bakery that was near that particular dojo. Then again, she wouldn't have discovered the bakery if she hadn't followed him that one time…

They reached her apartment. It looked dark and empty.

"Isn't anyone home?" asked Ichigo.

"No. I live alone," smiled Orihime, a little sadly, Ichigo thought.

"I see," said Ichigo uncomfortably. Then he mentally kicked himself for asking such a dumb question. He remembered that her brother, her only relation, had died a few years ago in a car accident. "Will you be ok?"

"Yeah, I'm feeling better now." Orihime pulled out her keys from her pocket. "Thank you for taking me to the movies and walking me home, Kurosaki-san. I had a lot of fun tonight!"

"See you in school Monday then." responded Ichigo as Orihime entered her house.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Orihime gave Ichigo a parting smile before she closed the door to her home.

Ichigo turned around and began to trudge home. Orihime was a nice girl. He wondered why he never noticed her before. She had her own charm. His tightly knitted brows loosened a bit as he wondered if she would really be ok…

xx

Orihime entered her dark apartment. She was soooo unbelievably happy! Omg! Her first date with Ichigo had ended very well! They actually talked! And then he had invited her to go to his dojo! She was _so_ going to go! Maybe even everyday! She had to tell Tatsuki! As soon as possible! Orihime felt that could die with a grin on her face. That Ichigo…

… _Siiiiighhhhh…_

Suddenly, out of the blackness of her home, a hand reached out and grabbed Orihime by the shoulder.

Orihime started violently, and felt a scream beginning to erupt within her as the hand's grip tightened on her shoulder.

…_I wonder if it has eyes… _she thought.

**To Be Continued… **

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A/N: Sorry for being so late! But i've been overwhelmed with testing recently. Darn school...

Anyway, thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate it! They make me really happy :)


	5. Chapter 5: Rivalries

**Chapter 5: Rivalries**

"Boo," said a very familiar voice. There was a click, and yellow light flooded the small apartment.

"Oh," gasped Orihime in relief, "It's you!"

"You sound disappointed. Were you hoping I was some psycho stalker so Ichigo would come running to rescue you?" smirked Tatsuki.

"No," lied Orihime. She changed the subject. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you to come home! It's naughty to stay out so late at night!"

"It's not late! It's only about seven!"

"Oh, so it is. It feels longer when you're waiting."

"I see." Orihime studied Tatsuki's face. She wondered if Tatsuki was okay, as she seemed to be trying abnormally hard to appear normal.

"So," said Tatsuki, with a brightness in her voice that Orihime perceived fake, "Tell me about your date! I want to hear all about it!" She grabbed Orihime's hand and dragged her to the living room, then shoved her onto the squashy green couch.

"Oh, well…" Orihime quickly shrugged off her previous feeling of uneasiness, and launched into a cheerful and lively description of her date with Ichigo. Tatsuki frowned when she learned that they had run into Rukia.

"Kuchiki-san was very kind and friendly," said Orihime in response to Tatsuki's grimace, "and she's new to some of the more modern things so Ichigo has been showing her around."

"Well, they seem to be getting a little too close for comfort," muttered Tatsuki, folding her arms. "If you're not aggressive, you might actually lose to that flat-chested bumpkin."

"Don't be so unkind," admonished Orihime. "Besides, wouldn't it be easier if I just told Ichigo that I like him?"

Orihime looked so innocent that Tatsuki just had to reach over and stretch her cheeks out horizontally.

"My dear sheltered princess," sighed Tatsuki, "Confessing to him straight out just won't do it! Ichigo is a typical man, and like all men, he loves a good fight. Why else do you think he does kendo? What he wants in a woman is a challenge! He wants to feel as if he's accomplished something! He won't be interested at all if you give in so easily. Play hard to get, but at the same time, be subtly flirtatious! You must be the cat, but act the mouse! That's the only way you'll get him, and that's the only way you'll get every other man in the world!"

"Oh." Orihime digested this for a moment. "So what do you suggest I do?"

"Take up his offer, and go to the dojo where he practices kendo. Join! Or watch! Whatever suits you. Just make sure he knows you're there!"

"Isn't that a bit too direct?" Orihime was utterly befuddled. Tatsuki was telling her to be subtle, but now advising her to blatantly get close to Ichigo! This intricate game that she was taking part in was a bit too much for her simple and honest mind.

"Not exactly," explained Tatsuki. "You're using kendo as an excuse to get closer to him. He won't know. He's too dense. After all, he still doesn't know that you've liked him for the past gazillion years! Anyway, you've just gotta make him aware of you. That's the first step!"

"Eh, ok."

"Then," continued Tatsuki, "Get to be friends with him. But don't make it too obvious that you're interested in him. Otherwise, he'll lose interest. You have to keep him guessing! He'll be intrigued. Men love mysteries."

"Ok." Orihime nodded.

Tatsuki pumped her fist. "You can do it Orihime! If all goes to plan, Ichigo will be yours before the week is up!"

"Yeah!" cheered Orihime. It would be tough task, but she knew she could do it. Her love for Ichigo would prevail! She would accomplish her mission at all costs, even though she and Ichigo were enemy spies. However, their forbidden love must never be discovered, or else entire nations would be put into jeopardy. Her mission now was to deliver a super secret message across enemy lines. Orihime donned her skintight black leather suit and tucked the letter between her breasts, where it would be nice and safe. Silently, with the grace of a cat, she crept into the enemy building through the ventilation system, only to run into Ichigo, her foe and her lover! He was going to interrupt her mission! But no! She had to fight him! But she couldn't! How could she? However, the wellbeing of a nation depended on this mission! Orihime resolved herself to shoot him. _Ichigo, _said Orihime, _I really don't want to do this!_ Orihime raised her bazooka to shoot Ichigo, but couldn't bring herself to. _I can't,_ sobbed Orihime, flinging aside her bazooka. _I love you! _She threw herself into Ichigo's arms, and the two shared a passionate embrace while the world around them drew close to an end, for unbeknownst to the two amours, a nefarious assassin was hiding elsewhere in the ventilation, watching the couple with satisfaction as he sharpened his chainsaw. _Soon…soon…_ he whispered to himself, _the country will fall… _The assassin threw back his head and began to howl with glee. His maniacal laughter echoed across the land--an ominous melody of death… BWAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…etc.

xx

The next day was a Sunday. Orihime knew Ichigo went to the dojo on Sundays to train. She had accidentally (yes, _accidentally_) happened upon him one lazy Sunday while visiting that cute bakery, hoping to happen upon him. She reached the dojo, and waited nervously outside. Her confidence failed her. Was Ichigo already inside, training? Had she come too early? What if he decided not to come today? Would he even notice her presence? What if he saw her, and quickly turned away, ignoring her? What if she fell to the ground as he walked stonily away, and sobbed, heart broken? What if a mysterious, beautiful man came and comforted her, only for her to push him away? What if Ichigo, seeing the mysterious, beautiful man through the window, rushed out and grabbed Orihime possessively? What if the mysterious, beautiful man met Ichigo's challenging eyes and felt a sudden flood of murderous envy? What if the mysterious, beautiful man instigated a duel over her? What if Ichigo lost and Orihime rushed over to his bleeding and broken body, to hear him confess in one last, dying breath, his love for her? (No wait Ichigo would never lose! Erase that thought!) What if Ichigo won and—

"Orihime," said a familiar voice, "So you finally came out in the open!"

Orihime gave a little gasp, and looked up to meet the eyes of Urahara-sensei!

"Urahara-sensai!" gasped Orihime.

"So you've revealed yourself. I often see you sneaking around the bushes here or hiding in the trees. You interested in kendo? Or is it a certain someone?"

Orihime blushed scarlet. She tried to change the subject.

"Ehm… Urahara-sensai, do you take kendo?"

"Take it? I teach it. In fact, I own this place."

"Wow," said Orihime, for lack of anything else to say. There was an awkward pause.

"Are you coming in? Ichigo's already inside." The chemistry teacher gave a wry smile and rubbed the stubble on his chin with a large, bony hand.

Orihime looked up in surprise. Underneath that fishermen's hat and mop of untidy hair and scary eye bags were two sharp and shrewd eyes.

"Er… Ok…"

"Why don't you try sparring a bit? You've had some experience right? I won't charge you."

Orihime nodded, feeling very self-conscious of her crimson face and ears. She followed her eccentric teacher into the building. Inside, was a wide space with a wooden floor. A few students wearing black were waving around wooden swords in an aggressive manner. Urahara-sensai walked up to one of the students who was intensely sparring with another student, and expertly stopped his sword with two fingers. The tall, lanky student pulled off his headgear to reveal a fluffy orange head with a bad case of hat hair. That was quickly fixed with a vigorous shake of the head. Immediately, his head puffed out like a dandelion in full bloom. It was… it was… Ichigo Kurosaki!

Orihime felt her breath catch in her throat as she watched Urahara-sensei speak with Ichigo. Ichigo was soooo unbelievably hot in his keidogi! The way he wore it gave off a feeling of easy breeziness. The wide legs of the hakama made his every movement seem to flow, as it drifted gracefully over the polished wooden floor. The top was loose, and hung off his sinewy frame in a relaxed puff, concealing his super hot muscles, yet implying them at the same time. He was a refreshing sight to see.

Orihime realized with a shock that he was walking toward her.

"Hey Inoue. So you came."

He was speaking to her! Orihime willed herself to respond.

"Y-yes K-Kurosaki-kun. I am very interested in Kendo."

"Oh. Er…" Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Urahara-sensai asked me to practice spar with you… so I'll get you a dogi… and a bokkun…" He walked off. Her heart beating loudly, Orihime watched him disappear into a room near the entrance.

Just then, someone shouted her name. Orihime turned, and saw that the source of it was from a small, slender figure. Orihime knew that it was Rukia. Rukia pulled off her gear and waved cheerily at Orihime. Orihime walked over to Rukia, who was standing beside Ichigo's former sparring partner. The former sparring partner pulled of his gear to reveal a man with a displeased face, weird eyebrows, and long red hair tied back in a spiky ponytail.

"Friend of yours?" drawled the wild-looking man. Rukia stomped on his foot.

"Ow!"

"Be more polite!" she hissed. She smiled beautifully at Orihime. "Hello Orihime! I've never seen you here before!"

"Hello Rukia. I just decided to come today since kendo seemed interesting." She smiled as well. They continued to smile at each other for a few more seconds.

"Oh. Let me introduce you to Renji." Rukia pointed at her red-haired companion. "He is a monkey that followed me here from my home in the mountains."

"Hey!" scowled Renji. "I didn't follow you here! It was your damned brother who told me to keep an eye on you!"

"But you're still a monkey," said Rukia. Ignoring his protests, she turned back to Orihime. "Are you going to spar?"

"Yes. Ichigo said he would practice with me."

"Groovy," said Rukia. "It'd be totally psychedelic if you sparred with me sometime too."

Orihime nodded, and wondered if Rukia was picking up her "city slang" from _Scooby Doo_ episodes.

Just then, Ichigo returned with the gear, and which Orihime quickly changed into.

"So," said Ichigo, "You've done this before right?"

"Yes. With Tatsuki."

"Ok. Good. Then I don't have to go that easy on you."

They crossed bamboo swords for a long while.

"You're pretty good," remarked Ichigo.

"Thank you!" chirped Orihime cheerily. Her characteristic good humor had returned.

"Let's stop for a while. You don't want to overstrain yourself."

"Okie dokie artichoke!" Orihime was happy for a rest. She pulled off her headgear for some ventilation. Ichigo did the same.

"That was pretty fun Kurasaki-kun!" grinned Orihime. "Maybe I'll join!"

"That'd be nice," responded Ichigo. "Barely anyone comes to this dojo."

The chatted for a little while longer, then continued to spar. Orihime was very, very happy. Her day couldn't possibly get any better! He had even touched her wrist a few times to adjust her grip or stance, but he did it so delicately that he did not come in contact with her body more than needed. Orihime was slightly disappointed by this, but it just meant that he was a gentleman! She felt she could die now and be happy. Perhaps she was already dead and was in heaven! Everything was sooo pink and sooo rosy.

Beside them, Rukia was sparring with Renji. However, she could not seem to concentrate. She seemed to be distracted by Orihime and Ichigo.

"You're timing is off," complained Renji as he knocked the bokkun out of her hands for the hundreth time, "Get your act together! I'm getting bored!"

"Silence fool!" scowled Rukia, who was watching Ichigo wrap his bony fingers around Orihime's wrist, "Can't you see I'm busy?"

"With what?" Renji raised one heavily tattooed eyebrow.

"Nothing." Rukia turned away with a huff.

"Then get serious!" He glowered. "What's eating you anyway?"

"I said nothing!" Rukia threw off her gear. "I don't really feel like training!"

"Fine! But you're starting to piss me off!"

"Go mind your own business!" Rukia started to walk away, but Renji grabbed her arm.

"It's Kurosaki, eh?"

Rukia sniffed huffily and turned away. "Don't be an idiot!"

"You like him or something?"

"No way!" Rukia tore her arm belligerently away from his grasp. Renji snorted in disbelief.

"That's funny. You're acting pretty possessive of a guy who's nothing to you."

Rukia scowled horribly at Renji. She looked like a gargoyle. "Don't be ridiculous!"

Renji snickered. "So you're the jealous type."

"I am not!" Rukia picked up her bokkun and charged at Renji, who nimbly evaded the attack.

"You're losing your cool," taunted Renji. "But I can see why. He sure looks like he's having fun with boobs over there."

"Silence!" Rukia lunged once more toward Renji, who quickly parried, and countered with an attack of his own. Rukia managed to bock it. The two, who were equals in skill, began to engage in a high-speed epic battle. Their own mock fights forgotten, the other students gathered around and watched with awe and envy.

BAM! SLASH! KILL! STAB! KICK! BOOM! AHHH! NOO! THUMP! BLOCK! ARGH! went the fight.

"Things are heating up," grunted Renji as he barely avoided another one of Rukia's homicidal slashes. Unfortunately for him, Rukia quickly followed it up with another murderous hack, which caught Renji on the side of the head. He fell to the ground with a groan.

"That hurt!" he scowled up at Rukia. "You were really trying to kill me!"

"Stop whining, you fool," snorted Rukia contemptuously. "You deserved it." Rukia spun sharply on her heel, and with a swish of her hakama, exited the dojo.

Meanwhile, oblivious to the mini-drama that had been going on beside them, Ichigo and Orihime continued to spar, until Orihime realized that it was already three o'clock in the afternoon.

"Kurosaki-kun," said Orihime as she lowered her bokkun and pulled off her gear, "I didn't realize it was already so late! I think I'll leave for today."

"Ah, you're right," replied Ichigo, glancing at the circular clock on the wall. "I'd better go too. I promised my dad that I'd help him with some repairs around the house, and I can't let him start alone or else there won't be much house left."

"Okie doke! Then let's walk home together!" Orihime was feeling very cheerful. Joining the dojo had been a very good idea! She could feel that she and Ichigo were growing closer and closer. She couldn't wait to tell Tatsuki!

"Sounds good," said Ichigo.

Orihime changed out of her borrowed kendo outfit, and walked out to join Ichigo, who was waiting outside the dojo. Her breath caught in her mouth as she watched Ichigo standing in the sun with his back to her, and staring at some random object in the distance. His back was truly the back of a man! Words could not describe the emotions that swirled and thudded within Orihime's heart as she admired Ichigo's back. She stared reverently at the nape of his neck, and ogled the lean muscles that shifted subtly beneath the cloth of his garments. She wondered if Ichigo was covered in long, jagged scars under his clothing. Nothing is sexier than a hot man covered in scars, teehee.

The sun glinted orange off of Ichigo's hair as he turned his head. His face was hot too! How Orihime loved his furrowed brows! She longed to lose herself within the deep grooves of his forehead.

"Finished? Let's go then," said Ichigo, snapping her out of her reverie.

"Alright!" Orihime buoyantly walked beside Ichigo. They passed by the bakery that Orihime often visited.

"Oh! I just remembered! I have to buy some bread for breakfast tomorrow," said Orihime. "Could we stop by for a moment?"

"Sure," replied Ichigo.

The two walked into the store, which was called Hunny Bunny Bakery. Ichigo was extremely surprised to see his classmate, Ishida, working at the cash register.

"Ishida!" called Ichigo in surprise, "You work here?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow as he gazed around at the baby pink and blue wallpaper, and nearly gagged when he saw the baked goods, which were artfully decorated to resemble various disgustingly adorable furry creatures.

Ishida pushed his glasses up his nose with one long slender finger.

"Yes. I decorate cakes."

Ichigo was slightly disturbed by Ishida's reaction. Ishida seemed actually proud of his job.

"Ishida-san!" chirped Orihime, popping out from behind Ichigo, "I want that cake!"

"Ah, Orihime-san," acknowledged Ishida, "You came here with Ichigo?"

"Yep!"

"I see…" Ishida pushed his glasses up his nose again, and they glinted in the light. He then proceeded to neatly wrap up the cake in a cute pink box with a white bunny on it, and calculated the change. He then turned to Ichigo.

"Kurosaki…" said Ishida, "You just came from the dojo, correct?"

Ichigo nodded. He rarely talked to Ishida in school, and had not known that he was in his class until Keigo complained about him one day. Ishida was really weird! He was always sitting alone in some corner and doing his own work. The only people Ichigo had ever seen approach him were people who needed help sewing on a button or repairing a stuffed animal. He actually seemed to enjoy doing that, in his slow and fastidious and feminine manner.

"How about sparring with me sometime?" suggested Ishida. "I'm very good at archery."

"Uhh…" Ichigo hesitated. He wondered if Ishida was serious. Archery and kendo just didn't mix! "Very funny, but I don't see how that can work out."

"Oh, well, I'm probably the stronger one anyway," said Ishida, leaving Ichigo slightly dumbfounded. Ishida deliberately turned to Orihime and added, "I am on break in fifteen minutes. Would you like to grab a drink?"

"Er…" Orihime was surprised. Was he asking her on a date? Agh! She wondered what she should say, but Ichigo cut in.

"Oi," said Ichigo, "It's rude of you to ask a girl on a date when there's a guy standing next to her."

Orihime blushed.

"Guy? Where?" Ishida raised a thin eyebrow. "I do not consider you a man, as it isn't very manly to run away from a fight."

Ichigo was slightly annoyed. He didn't want to be lectured on his masculinity by a person who drew pink frosting kitties and unicorns on sugary cakes and cookies! Besides, Ishida seemed to be trying to pick a fight on purpose.

"I wasn't running away! It's ridiculous to try to cross swords and arrows!" groaned Ichigo. He finally understood why Keigo was so aggravated by Ishida. The man had something seriously wrong going on with his head! Weirdo alert!!!

"It is still doable," said Ishida.

Ichigo sighed. "Fine, but maybe some other time. I'm taking Inoue home right now." He turned toward the door and motioned with his head for Orihime to follow.

"Bye Ishida-san!" called Orihime cheerfully over her shoulder as she exited.

"Have a nice day and please come again," said Ishida while pushing his glasses up his nose again.

xx

Orihime returned to her apartment, blissfully happy. The day had gone by so beautifully! She had spent most of it with Ichigo, and he had talked to her, and touched her wrist a few times, and walked her home, and even cut in when Ishida had asked her to grab a drink with him! Not to mention that she now had a yummy cake in her possession. She decided to have it for dinner. Humming quietly to herself, she walked to her fridge to put the cake away.

"Boo," said a voice suddenly from behind her.

Orihime whirled around in surprise, and relaxed to see Tatsuki.

"Where were you today?" asked Tatsuki, "I came to your house but no one was here! I was going to go over another tactic on How to Catch Ichigo!"

"Oh," smiled Orihime brightly, "I don't think I need that anymore! I took your advice today and joined his dojo and spent the whole day with him! He even walked me home and a lot of fun stuff happened!"

"You went to his dojo?" said Tatsuki, surprised, and possibly a little angry, "Why didn't you tell me first? We should've made a plan first!"

"Oops sorry," said Orihime, "But I forgot. But everything went well without a plan anyway! I was so happy today!"

Tatsuki seemed a bit unhappy by this. "Ok, well then, we should at least plan our next move."

"I don't think," began Orihime hesitantly, "all this planning is necessary. I think I should just tell him about my feelings."

"What?" said Tatsuki, a little too loudly, "Weren't you listening to me yesterday? Relationships don't work out if the girl is too direct! You're supposed to play hard-to-get!"

"I know," sighed Orihime, "But Ichigo is different. I don't think he's like that at all."

Tatsuki curled her lip. "Ichigo is a guy. All guys are the same! Don't be fooled if he seems nicer than most!"

"No!" contradicted Orihime, "Ichigo is kind and caring!"

"Ok," shot back Tatsuki, "Maybe he is. But what makes you think anything will happen if you tell him your feelings? You have to get him to like you first, at least a little!"

"He does like me a little," responded Orihime, "At least, I think so!"

"You _think_ so?" snorted Tatsuki, "You have to be sure! If you betray your emotions so soon, he'll just end up avoiding you like the typical guy he is!"

"Even so, I'm still going to tell him I like him," said Orihime stubbornly.

"I'm telling you, don't," warned Tatsuki. "Just make a plan like we did before. That's what got you this far isn't it?"

"That's true," said Orihime, "But like I said before, I don't think we need that now. I'm just going to be straight with him! All this sneaky planning makes me uncomfortable!"

"What? _Sneaky planning_?" spat Tatsuki. "Don't get ahead of yourself! Just because he's nice to you for _one_ day, doesn't mean he likes you! Be serious. He hasn't even noticed you for the past _seven_ years. What makes you think he'll even care?"

Orihime recoiled in shock. Why was Tatsuki being so mean? It wasn't any of Tatsuki's business how she handled this anyway!

"It's none of your business anyway," said Orihime resentfully, "_I'm_ the one who likes him. I think _I _should be the one who decides what to do!"

"None of my business?" repeated Tatsuki. She turned defensive. "Alright, fine! Then I won't tell you what to do! But if he rejects you, don't come crying to me!" She walked out of the apartment and slammed the door behind her.

Orihime was stunned. She had never fought with Tatsuki before! Why was it happening now? Wasn't Tatsuki supposed to be happy for her? Orihime felt like crying, but then remembered unhappily that Tatsuki had been trying to control her every move. She wanted to do this on her own! Liking Ichigo was her own business, not Tatsuki's anyway! Orihime's mind was made up. She would confess to Ichigo tomorrow at school!

xx

Renji was lounging on his bed when he heard a loud BANG. It came from the window! Renji turned his head to look at the window. Since his apartment was on the third floor, he was surprised to see Rukia standing on the ledge with her face pressed against the glass. He quickly ran to open it.

"That's dangerous," groaned Renji, "Use the door like a normal city person!"

"Too slow," said Rukia.

"So it's faster to climb up the wall? I hope no one saw you. And you're wearing a skirt too!"

"That's ok," said Rukia, lifting up her skirt. "I'm wearing shorts under."

"Hey, those are my boxers!" yelled Renji.

"No wonder they're so big. They also have this weird hole in the front…"

"Anyway, what are you doing here? I thought you were mad at me. I guess you just can't stay away from me, eh?" smirked Renji.

"Don't be a fool!" scowled Rukia. She lowered her voice. "I kinda needyourhelpwithsomething."

"What?" yelled Renji loudly, "Did I mishear? I thought I heard you asking for help!"

"What of it? Don't make me repeat myself!" glowered Rukia. "You heard me! I need your help!"

"Ok, fine," leered Renji, "But only if you say please."

"No way!" Rukia crossed her arms and turned haughtily away.

"Oh, well then, I guess I can't help you."

"Fine," sighed Rukia, relenting. "Please."

Renji was extremely surprised. Rukia never said "please"! She must've needed help with something very, very important. He wondered what appalling circumstance could possibly induce her to resort to such an extreme method as saying "please."

"What do you need help with?" asked Renji.

"Well…" Rukia hesitated. "Er… well…" She seemed slightly uncomfortable, which was odd. Rukia was usually cool and collected. Nothing ever fazed her. Renji sometimes wondered if she knew the meaning of the word embarrassed.

"Hurry up," grumbled Renji, "I don't have all day. Don't let your 'please' go to waste!"

Rukia grimaced. She looked as if there was a battle raging within her.

"Alright alright!" yelled Rukia, "I admit it!"

"Admit what?" Renji was confused.

"I like Ichigo, OK?" shouted Rukia.

Renji was astounded, and a little perturbed. Rukia always acted like such a man! But then again, she was a girl, so he should not find it so unusual that she would harbor girlish feelings within her girlish heart. "So what do you want me to do about it?"

"I want you to help me!"

"Help you with what?" asked Renji, playing dumb, even though he knew exactly what she was getting at.

"Don't make me say it," snarled Rukia.

"No, really," said Renji, enjoying himself, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Rukia growled in annoyance and spat out the words as quickly as possible, "IwantyoutohelpmegettogetherwithIchigo!"

Rukia blushed. Renji was amused. He had never seen this side of Rukia before! It made him want to torture her.

"No," said Renji.

Rukia looked deflated. Seeing her disheartened face, Renji realized that she must have taken a lot of resolution to resort to this. She HAD humbled herself to the extent of saying "please" after all, so she was serious about Ichigo. This knowledge was slightly upsetting, but Renji ignored it.

"Changed my mind," said Renji. "This might actually be fun. I wanna see how Kurosaki handles a freaky gorilla girl like you."

Rukia brightened immediately. She let his rude comment pass, and nodded, satisfied. "Good. Then you must obey my orders from now on."

Renji sighed, and wondered if he should back out while it was still early. Rukia began to laugh. Her laugh was an ominous melody of death. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

A/N: Once again, I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I added it a few days ago, but then I took it off again because I saw quite a few errors. Sorry if it mistakenly looked like I updated! This chapter was also very hard and long and painful to write, but necessary. Hopefully future chapters will be more fun. Please enjoy anyway, and review!! Thanks! ;) 


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